Did you know.....

Apongbon street was named after Acting Governor McCrosky. Strange? Yes. Prior to his appointment as Acting Governor, he was a business man and Assessor to the court in Tinubu. He was a friend to Fagbemi Dawodu, the rich business man of Nupe origin(Tapa) turned Lagosian. When Fagbemi reverted to Christianity after abandoning Ifa that he was born into. McCrosky was his God-father at his baptism. Fagbemi was the owner of the giant house that sprawled from Broad Street to the Marina at Olowogbowo.
The CMS mission rented it to house offices and residence for Bishop Ajayi Crowther. The school founded by Crowther's son-in-law, Rev Thomas Babington Macaulay, (CMS Grammar School) was also initially housed there. The front of that building was named Bishop Street (till today). The street nearest to it is at the back was named Apongbon Street (till today) after Fagbemi's friend, McCrosky who was bald in the head but had a bushy ginger-colored beard. So all over Lagos he was known as Oyinbo a-pon-ni-gbon. (the white man with the reddish beard). A-pon-ni-gbon was shorteneded to Apongbon.

My Genuine Wish

I genuinely wish I could be like Jesus Christ, not in holiness or godliness, but in temperament. I wish a side of my cheek could be slapped and I would have the temerity to turn the other side, overlook disrespect and refuse to fight back at the height of provocation.

How I wish that if someone calls me Stinking, I could compliment the person as smelling nice. My wishful inclination to emulate Jesus abounds, but my capacity to be close is afar. I guess nobody can be like Him, though some are better at striving to be than others.

I also wish I could be like Mandela, Dr. Martin Luther king  or Indira Gandhi so that I would preach, tutor and befriend my oppressors and bullies about Love, peace and the importance of reconciliation, but I guess THE CREATOR made me to be like Moses, David and Malcom X, so that when you choose to kill my chicken I orchestrate to break your eggs, when you want to reincarnate to be modern day Goliath, I seek for strength to defeat you and when you choose to deny me my GOD given right, liberty and freedom, I go all the way to protect me.

Oh, I wish I could be like Henry Kissinger, not in personality but in diplomacy, so that I could have a good understanding of diplomatic gimmicks and pretend to like you when I am sure that you cannot stand my gut, but my innermost believe that diplomacy when individual is hypocrisy will not permit me. My sincere distaste for hypocrisy is so original and inborn that my mood and dispositions can not be faked. My love is for those that love me truly. I wish I could always be politically and empathetically correct all the time but my spontaneous reactions have no room for baloney and it's embellishment.

But all in all, my gratitude is to GOD, not only for the gift of easiness to be me, the endowment to enjoy and find strength in my personhood, my idiosyncrasies, my laxities and inadequacies, but most importantly for my ability to at all times have an unbelievable level of confidence in myself that friends and foes find incomprehensible.

ONÍRÈSÉ

Before ÒYÓ became what we know today as Oyo town and Oyo state, it was known as ÒYÓ-ILÉ which Historians referred to as OLD OYO EMPIRE.
That was the Era when the ALÁÀFIN had the autonomous power and referred as;
"Alaşę ikeji Orişa" ( the 2nd in command to the gods). There was an absolute Power endowed to the Alaafin all over Yoruba Kingdom. The powers can only be checked by the OYOMESI, for the purpose of CHECK and BALANCE.
Infact, there was one Alaafin who ordered for the head of his father in-law, simply because the wife indirectly challenged his Authority while bathing the Alaafin in the bathroom. (You can grab a copy of BASHORUN GAA to see full story).
Thus, the trio phrase of; 'IKÚ BÀBÁ YÈYÉ" which is translated as; " THE DEATH, THE PATERNAL and THE MATERNAL" might not mean anything to us in this modern Democatic Era but in the ancient Yoruba Days, it meant a great deal.

Behind the Alaafin Oyo's Palace in the Ancient days were rows of stalls where wood and calabash carvers known as ONÍRÈSÉ engaged in their craft work. ONÍRÈSÉ as earlier said literally means CALABASH CARVERS but among these carvers, one was nicknamed ONÍRÈSÉ. He was a Divinely gifted Carver.
During his birth, an IFA priest who was consulted by his parent, informed that the new born baby will be a great leader and one day, he will find himself in a strange land across the Ocean among the white people. But he must not engage in any work than the Carving business.
His kinsmen were not surprised with the calibre of people that were patronising ONÍRÈSÉ as he was growing into the carving business. The Alaafin, his chiefs, Kings from neighbouring towns and all idol worshippers were all customers to this young man. His work was second to none in the entire Yoruba Region.
One day, some Europeans who had come to Oyo for tourism and to study the Monarchical system of the Oyo Empire stumbled into the stall of ONÍRÈSÉ and they were completely amazed by the excellent craft works done by him. After said and done, ONÍRÈSÉ found himself in an exhibition in Switzerland where his work became the best among others. ONÍRÈSÉ spent 13 years touring different part of Europe with the help of an European lady who had become his close Associate.
After tying the knot with this lady after an Exhibition in a small town in Sweden, ONÍRÈSÉ decided to return home with his new bride for proper African traditional wedding.
The entire Oyo township and its environ were filled to the brim with people who had come to witness this very rare marriage. It was a showcase of pure African tradition and the Europeans that witnessed the occasion were fully entertained.

After the wedding rites, the Alaafin bestowed the title of BAALE ÌRÈSÉ to ONÍRÈSÉ for the great honour he brought to Oyo kingdom. With the new title and responsibility, the Alaafin believed that the white woman would mot take the great man back to her strange land again.
At this period back home, ONÍRÈSÉ desist from making calabash again rather he focused on other lucrative businesses and the governing of his little Area.
His old customers who were highly placed all over Yoruba Kingdom approached him to make Calabash for them but he refused bluntly, encouraging them to patronize his kinsmen who are still into the business. This attitude annoyed some prominent chiefs in Oyo and they reported him to the Alaafin,  saying the man had become so arrogant and disrespectful. They wanted Alaafin to give him him a marching order to continue with the carving skill.
The Alaafin in his wisdom replied thus;
Eyin Oyomesi,  BÍ ONÍRÈSÉ BÁ KÒ TÓ LÓHUN Ò FÍN'GBÁ MÓ, ÈYÍ TÓ TI FÌN SÍLÈ KÒ LE PARUN LAELAE". This simply means; if ONÍRÈSÉ, the calabash carver desist from making calabash again, the ones he had made in the past can never be perished.

***

Credit- yinka egbeyemi.

PASTOR'S SECRET WIFE

Episode  One

The last abortion I did was the fourth time I'm doing abortion for you. You want to destroy all the children in my womb? When I finally get married, what will I give to my husband? I will not abort this pregnancy, I will keep it and face the shame. Stella lamented to her secret boyfriend after he asked her to go for abortion as usual. You know I am a pastor and my integrity is at stake if you keep this pregnancy. What will I tell my wife? What do you want me to tell my G.O? How will I stand my congregation? Those who wanted my downfall all this while will now have the opportunity to ground me. You can't keep the pregnancy Stella. These and more were the words of Pastor Olumodeji, when Stella insisted she will keep the pregnancy this time.

How did it go? I asked my friend. Stella has been my childhood friend for over two decades now. Every time she was pregnant for pastor Olumodeji, I was the only one she confided in. We were both members of the central choir until pastor Olumodeji transferred me to our new branch in the mainland and made me the head of the choir. He made it look like he was promoting me but I knew he was no longer comfortable seeing me in the same church he pastors, knowing how much of his secrets I have known. Before my transfer, whenever he preaches about righteousness and our eyes jammed, you could notice the uneasiness on him. I didn't know how my friend entered into this prison. All our attempts to stop their illicit relationship failed severally. They had used me most often to clean up their mess. Why I connived with them to continually help them cover up still remains a mystery to me.

Stella, you're keeping this pregnancy this time. How long will you continue to protect an integrity that does not exist? A man of integrity does not sleep with his church members. It is high time you let the church know what pastor Olumodeji has been doing in the secret. If we continue to cover this evil for him, God  will not spare us in his judgement. He should just accept responsibility for his action, I told Stella. I have made up my mind to keep the pregnancy and there's no going back on that but I won't implicate pastor Olumodeji. I can't stand the shame and humiliation. I can't watch and see the church I helped built from the scratch crumble right in my face because of my illicit affair with the pastor. I will not be the one who will be the tool of destruction for the church of God. Pastor Olumodeji may be stained but there are still righteous people in the church. Hearing this will puncture the faith of the young believers who trust him so much. I will run away with my pregnancy to an unknown destination. This is what I will do and I don't want you to advice me against it. Stella said.

Very early in the morning before I woke up from the bed, my phone rang. when I checked my caller, it was our area pastor, my friend's secret boyfriend, pastor Olumodeji. Without doubt, I knew why he was calling me. It must be in connection with Stella's pregnancy. This time I wasn't going to be the good girl I used to be, I will be blunt and straight to pastor. I was still thinking of dirty and derogatory words to use against pastor when I picked his call, then the call ended. I was expecting him to call me back because I knew he must have had a sleepless night over the issue. While I was waiting for his call, Stella's call came in. I picked and couldn't hear her as the call kept breaking due to network problem. I can't hear you Stella, let me call you with my mtn line, I suggested. As I tried to dial her number, pastor's call interrupted. I refused to pick his call so I can speak with my friend first. The more I tried to reach Stella, the more his calls kept interrupting. At this time, I realized he was really desperate and agitated. I was literally confused but not answering his calls may send a wrong signal. I decided to pick his call. "Hello sister Mercy" he said. " Hello pastor" I replied.

I need to see you urgently sister Mercy. We have to talk now, I don't  mind meeting you in your house or somewhere else. He said in a worried voice. Can you imagine my area pastor humble himself to this extent because he had defecated in the wrong place? No wonder the Bible says "there is no peace for the wicked". The thought of using this case to milk him started running through my mind while I was still on the phone with him. But on a second thought, is it not our church resources he will use to service the ransoms? I reasoned within me.

To be continued in Episode Two

A MUST READ: WHEN I NEARLY SCAMMED THE SCAM

Early this week I received a call from phone number 08139239474. He identified himself as Uchenna, a trader based in Abuja. He told me he got my number from the Nigerian Property website, and he is interested in one of the properties I advertised. The property is located at Orji and is worth 7 million naira. He agreed to pay immediately.

I told him he should send someone or come down here himself to inspect the property, but he said he was recently settled by his Oga and is always busy these days. He trusts me and he wants to transfer the money to my account to buy it for him in his name. I was a bit surprised.
Sounds so strange someone who I have never met before, who is talking to me on phone for the first time would just "trust" me and transfer a whooping sum of 7 million to my account for a property transaction. I smelt the scam. I also remembered a colleague shared this kind of information in our Lawyers Forum recently, so I decided to play along.

Evening the next day, he called me back and told me he will not do the transfer again. He was too busy to go to bank. He said he has now locked up the 7 million in the freezer compartment of an old refrigerator which he will waybill to me that evening. I told him I'm ok with the arrangement.

Around 9pm this number 08102319846 called me and said he is Driver Ayuba with my waybill item. He said I should wait for him at Control Post Owerri the next morning around  7am. I told him sir I will be there even by 5.

Fast forward next morning, I didn't get a call from the "driver" till about 8.30am. He called me  shouting untop of his voices that the refrigerator he was bringing me is frustrating his journey. It has been seized by Customs at Delta State. He threatened to drop the package if I don't settle the Customs officers immediately. I told him to be patient and everything will be alright. He gave his phone to the "customs officer" to negotiate with me. Then the Kannywood movie started.

The custom officer was like "Kai oga I don seize am for your package. I go smash am oga. I go find out wetin de inside. Boko haram I finish this kantry, boko haram I come to south east. Kai oga bomb fit de inside this your fridge. I go smash am I go find out wetin de inside"

At this moment I couldn't hold myself. I was laughing all through but maintained my cool. Then I asked him what's the solution. He said I must pay 80,000 naira to them immediately. I told him Oga, I wan pay. Abeg no smash the package. E de important to me. Then he sent me this account details
(Odiakaose Joshua. FCMB, ACC NO 5194987013).

I told him I got it and I'm about to make the transfer. Then I ended the call and waited for 5 minutes. My Nwa- Aba instincts kicked in.
I called them back and told them there is a problem. The transfer is not going through. I just found my MB has finished. I asked them to help me out by transferring 1000 MTN airtime to me so that I can subscribe and send them the 80,000 immediately. All I could hear was laughter in the  background. The "Hausa" Custom officer started speaking pure pigin
He was like " This my brother you strong o, na brain go kill you" He laughed and ended the call.
...and this is just heads up for everyone to be careful out there. Many people have discovered their hidden talents in this Buhari economy. Don't be a victim!

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