The Story of All of Us

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4 Girls, 4 Guys, 1 Weekend – Part 1.

With the success of the first installment: My friend, her boyfriend and I. We're back with yet another thriller in our love series’ Love, Lust and Money: 4 Girls, 4 Guys, 1 Weekend.

Like the first, which addressed several societal issues, we most times don’t want to talk about in the open.

4 Girls, 4 Guys, 1 Weekend captures the lives of four friends, who met while on youth service in Lagos.

Let me introduce you to the four ladies in our story: Bimpe is “the mother hen”,Koyin is “the daddy’s girl”, and Amanda is “the bitch” while Sandra is the “queen bitch”

Without much ado, I’ll let you read but remember to drop your comments.

Here’s Love, Lust and Money: 4 Girls, 4 Guys, 1 Weekend – Part 1.

          ‘No no and no, I can’t take it anymore, this is so disgraceful, that bastard, can you believe the way he treated me?’ I sat there filing my nails, my feet tucked under me as I listened to my friend rant on. ‘This time it’s over, I can’t continue like this, I won’t go back to him!’ she declared. I tried not to smile but I couldn’t hide it. ‘Sandra, why are you smiling? I’m pouring out my heart to you and you are just sitting there saying nothing! Worst still you are smiling, is it funny that my boyfriend is humiliating me around town?’ She asked, ‘ok Bimpe, calm down and sit down’ I said. ‘No, I’m not sitting down, I can’t sit down, I’m very angry’.  ‘Girlfriend, please sit down, see, John is not here and he can’t see how agitated you are, it’s you and I here, so let’s talk girl to girl’I said, she eyed me and sat down. ‘Bimpe, we live together and this is not the tenth time you will be coming in crying wolf. I mean this guy beats you, molest you, disrespect you and then comes back and beg you and you go back to him.  What’s your problem is love that blind?’ I asked. ‘But I love him and he loves me too’ she said. ‘Oh poor baby, do I have to beat you too to make you see this guy doesn’t give shit about you? Love is not a do or die affair. You are pretty, intelligent, hardworking and successful, you deserve better my dear’, I told her. She broke into tears and I went to hold her, ‘I know I deserve better but I love him and I’m scared to be alone’ she confessed sobbing. I kept holding and soothing her.

         The door opened and Koyin entered. ‘What’s going on here, can I join the group hug because I really need a very big hug right now?’ ‘John slapped Bimpe in front of his friends today because she hugged an old school mate who was a guy’ I told her. ‘WHAT! That insecure stupid guy, we should have him arrested!’ Koyin said. ‘Let’s not do that, the good thing is that our friend is not going back to him’ I said, Koyin looked at me with raised eyebrow. I shrugged and she looked at Bimpe, questioning her with her look, Bimpe answered the unasked question ‘I know I’ve said this many times in the past but this time its final’, she said with a straight face and her chin set in a determined way. Then Koyin gave us the shocker of the year.

‘Well, seems today is a heart breaking day. Usman and I broke up today.’

          WHAT!!!’ Bimpe and I echoed our eyes almost bulged out of their sockets and our mouth dropped to our jaws. We were surprised because Koyin had the best boyfriend amongst us four friends. Their relationship was perfect and they were so happy together, so we thought. ‘What happened’ Bimpe asked cleaning her own tears. ‘Well, it seems our rose had its own thorn. Actually we’ve been having problems for three months now. His mother said we can’t get married because I’m a Yoruba girl and worst still I’m a Christian, and you all know Usman is Hausa and a devoted Muslim, so today, I went to his house after I closed from work and I meet a young pretty girl in his house, wearing the shirt I bought for him last valentine. All the pictures we took together were nowhere in sight and the girl proudly told me she IS his fiancé and she even had a ring to show for it’, she told us and rested her back on the sofa and looked up, a silent tear rolled down her left eye. I stood up agitated ‘Please tell me you killed the bitch or at least you gave her the beating of her life?’ I asked. ‘No I didn’t do anything to her; she and I had no business together’. ‘Fuck! You are too gentle, if I wa….’

          The door opened again and Amanda, our drama queen walked in ‘Sup bitches, are you guys trying to un-friend me or what’s the meeting about?’we all hissed and I said, ‘Can’t you read moods or must you always be the center of attention, can’t you see something is wrong here?’ She dropped her bag on the floor and searched our faces, ‘I’m sorry girls, so what’s wrong?’ she asked and I told her. ‘Shit! Bastards, I’m sorry to hear this but I’m glad you are not going back to that fool Bimpe, so what did Usman say when you saw him?’ Amanda demanded. ‘Well, I called him and told him I was at his house and I saw a strange woman, that what’s going on and he said he was sorry he didn’t mean for me to find out like that, that he couldn’t go against his family’s wish, can you imagine? And I asked what will happen to me and he said he was sorry it’s over, can you believe that crap? Two years of my life was ended over the phone, just like that!’ she narrated bitterly. ‘Inconsiderate coward’ I said, ‘Foolish bastard’ Amanda said ‘ode, oloriburuku, oloshi’ Bimpe said and we all burst into laughter then went quite again.

          Then Amanda said, ‘Someone needs to check today’s date because you girls won’t believe I’ve been calling Uche for two days now and he has not been picking up, does he think he can just leave me like that?’. We all tried to hide our sarcastic faces and I gave a fake cough. Amanda looked at all of us and threw her hands in the air before it came to fold over her chest. ‘What now? Cant I get any sympathy here?’ I cleared my throat and asked her, ‘Ama, do u call what you have with Uche a relationship?’ ‘Yes of course,’ she replied. I laughed and she rolled her eyes at me, Koyin asked ‘what about Alhaji?’ ‘He IS a spare, he doesn’t count’ she said. Bimpe chipped in, what about Segun?’ ‘Segun is just for sex, its Uche I love nah’? ‘Do you now see why you can’t get our sympathy?’ I told her ‘whatever! But if Uche is treating me well I won’t be going after other men now’ she said sitting down and crossing her legs. ‘Common Ama, you like men, you can’t be satisfied with one; I said while Bimpe and Koyin nodded their agreement. Amanda laughed and clapped her hands and she said ‘see me, see wahala oo, see kettle calling pot black! You that have five boyfriends nko? What are you?’ She asked.

I sat back on my chair, crossed my left leg on my right leg and said ‘point of correction sweetheart, they are not my boyfriends, they are my partners and unlike you girls I don’t love them or claim to love them, I use them and discard them when I like, I have one for sex, one for money, one for outing, one for business and one for keeping my company. Once you girls realize men are like babies, you lead them where you want them to go, don’t get attached, love is for fools’ I lectured. They all kept quiet and I can tell they were digesting what I’ve said. Let me tell you about us. My name is Sandra and Koyin, Amanda and Bimpe are my friends. We are all in our late twenty’s and we live together in a three bedroom flat, Koyin and I have a room to ourselves while Bimpe and Amanda share a room. I work for an advertisement company. Bimpe is a nurse, Koyin is a banker and Amanda is into business for herself, she has a small boutique. We all met at the NYSC camp when we were posted to Lagos and since then we have been inseparable.

          We are all from comfortable family except Koyin whose parents are very rich. Koyin has a car, I have a company car too and between the two of us we get the ladies anywhere they want to go. Bimpe is very gentle, she hardly gets angry, she loves to cook and clean, always caring for everybody, she’s the peacemaker, she likes fair guys, she had one boyfriend, John, and she is pretty. Koyin is the lazy one, she can pay her way through anything, she likes to read and play video games, she is gentle and considerate, she likes guys that are not too tall because she’s short herself and Usman was her boyfriend, she’s an attractive lady. Amanda is a very fair lady; she’s hard working and very independent. She has her own boutique and love men of all tribes, size, age and color so far they are rich. She has four lovers that I know of but she claims to love Uche. She’s a beautiful girl. What else have I not told you? Oh me! Like I mentioned before I’m Sandra, I work for an advertisement company, I am very a straightforward person but some people think I’m too frank. I like tall dark rich men and I like to use men to satisfy my various needs. I have five partners as of present. After a very nasty and sad experience with love I vowed not to ever love and I believe love is for fools. I’m sexy. The four of us in summary, Bimpe is “the mother hen”, Koyin is “the daddy’s girl”, Amanda is “the bitch” and I am “the queen bitch”. Welcome to our world.

           ‘Girls, let’s face it; these guys don’t give a damn about us. You care for them, cook for them, open your legs for them and yet what do you get?’ I asked bitterly. ‘But they are not all bad, you know’ Bimpe inserted. ‘I know dear but how many frogs do we have to kiss before we meet your prince?’ Koyin asked. ‘My point exactly.’ Amanda said. I like the fact that my girlfriends are in the mood to be mean to men and I really want them to be for what I’ve in mind for us this weekend. I stood up and started pacing the living room and I pressed on ‘let’s face the fact chicks, when last have you done something for yourself without considering what effect it would have on your boyfriends? When was the last time they did something for you? You know it’s the little things that counts, take you to lunch, surprise you with a cake even though it’s not your birthday, take you away for a weekend so you won’t have to cook or do anything but relax. When was the last time they held you throughout the night without fucking you or sat down to watch a silly program you love with you like you endure watching football with them? Their blackberry status on Friday read ‘TGIF club things,’ were you invited? The last time I checked we all love to dance!’ I lectured getting angry every second and my friends were totally into me because I’m riding on their hurt feelings and everything I said made sense to them.

          Koyin said ‘So what can we do about it, our families won’t let us rest until we bring a man home the moment we turn twenty-five and we can’t fuck ourselves you know?’ ‘Why not? My vibrator knows my body better than any man and why should we live our lives for our families? What about us, our dreams, ambitions, careers and our happiness. It’s our life after all and we can only live it once!’ I said. We all sat down and kept quiet; I can see I’ve them where I want them. ‘Girls, I think we should go on a ‘man cleanse’, let’s go out this weekend and do something for ourselves, let’s get out of our comfort zone and have fun, who is in with me. Amanda raised up her hand. ‘So who else is in?’ I asked Koyin and Bimpe eyed me suspiciously. ‘Common girls I promise you it will be a good weekend’ I cajoled. ‘What is your idea of fun and“man cleanse” what do you have in mind?’ she asked. This is the tricky part I just hope my manipulative skills haven’t left me ‘let’s use men this weekend, let’s go have fun, raw sex, demand from them what you want, do only the things you want to do’ I told them. ‘I’m so cool with your idea, gf, hope these guys are rich?’ Amanda said. Koyin and Bimpe exchanged a look and Koyin asked, ‘how is going out to have sex with random men going to help us, aside the fact that it’s not right and it’s not safe’. ‘Why is it not right, you just lost your boyfriends, it will be helping you because you are going to be using them this weekend and not the other way round and you can be sure I’ll only hook you up with responsible rich guys who can treat a lady right, trust me!’ I pleaded. I can see Koyin is considering my offer but Bimpe sat unconvinced. ‘Even though John is a bastard I don’t think turning myself into a weekend prostitute is the right thing to do’ Bimpe said and went into her room.

          I looked at Koyin I can see she’s almost convinced so I went in for the kill‘Koyin please, let’s do this, it will only make you feel berra. Ok, let me make a deal with you, how about we all leave if you get there and you are not comfortable? Please let’s do this’ I begged her trying to be diplomatic. ‘Ok I’ll sleep over it and let you know tomorrow morning’ I hugged her and she said‘don’t get your hopes up’ she picked up her bag and left for her room. ‘So how will you get these guys? That’s the part I’m interested in’ Amanda asked winking at me. ‘Leave that one to me. What I need you for is to go into your room and do everything in your power to convince Bimpe, do everything you can to make her agree to this because it’s either there’s four of us or none of us! So go work your magic on her’ I shooed her off. ‘Ok ma’am but remember, I want the richest guy amongst them!’ she said and went into her room.

          Without wasting a minute, I got on the phone and called my best friend Ademola, ‘sup bro, I need your help’. ‘Hello pretty, how are you too? I’m fine thank you’ he said and I laughed. ‘Common ‘demo, I’m serious I need your help’ I told him ‘ok shoot, what can I do for you’ he asked. ‘I need four handsome rich guys, who are good in bed and can show a woman a good time and have a weekend to spare’ I told him. ‘Am I invited? He asked. ‘No’ you are my best pal and you know we can’t fuck now get serious, will you do it for me?’ I asked ‘ok, only if I get to hear the full gist’, ‘deal’ I told him, ‘ok give me the qualities you want in each guy and which weekend are you looking at?’ ‘This weekend, I can’t allow the girls to change their mind and I’ll see you during lunch break tomorrow so we can discourse the guys’ ‘Sandra! Today is Monday and you want me to find you four guys in four days, you don’t give a brother a break do you? ‘You know you can do it, I’ll see you tomorrow’ I greased his elbow ‘ok, I’ll see you tomorrow and we’re eating French and you are paying, bye’ he said and cut the line, I smiled and said to myself, ‘I’m a bitch’  [To be Continued]

By Olatorera - @sexitee03

Edit by @tonyobj

In part 1 of Love, Lust and Money: 4 Girls, 4 Guys, 1 Weekend. We’ve learnt that in this time and age; we still have a culture shock with the way people address issues and live their lives.

Bimpe’s boyfriend beats and molests her.

Koyin and Usman broke up.

Amanda loves Uche but keeps other men.

Sandra has five boyfriends.

What’s wrong with a Christian marrying a Muslim?

What are the effects of Peer pressure?

Do you encourage the oldest profession - Prostitution?

Would the girls agree to Sandra’s suggestions of a weekend of the unknown pleasures?

If you want to know what happens next?

Follow @tonyobj and @sexitee03 for tips and updates on the series.

Also drop your comments.

Watch out for Part 2 of Love, Lust and Money: 4 Girls, 4 Guys, 1 weekend.

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Hazards of Free Beer

If you can read this whole story without laughing, then there's no hope for you. I was crying by the end. This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili cook-off in New Mexico. 

Note: Please take time to read this slowly. 

If you pay attention to the first two judges, 

the reaction of the third judge is even better. 

For those of you who have lived in New Mexico, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the Santa Fe Plaza.. Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chile taster named Chukwuemeka, who was visiting from Nigeria. 


Chukwuemeka: Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off.. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native New Mexicans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge #3. 



Here are the scorecard notes from the event: 

CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI 

Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick. 

Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild. 

Judge # 3 (Chukwuemeka) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These New Mexicans are crazy. 



CHILI # 2 - EL RANCHO'S AFTERBURNER CHILI 

Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang. 

Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously. 

Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face. 



CHILI # 3 - ALFREDO'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI 

Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. 

Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers. 

Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting dried pepper. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting plastered from all of the beer. 


CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC 

Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing. 

Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili. 

Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300lb woman is starting to look HOT ... Just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac? 



CHILI # 5 - LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER 

Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Jalapeno peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive. 

Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the jalapeno peppers make a strong statement. 

Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. How could I have thought Yoruba people liked pepper? I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw them. 



CHILI # 6 - VARGA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY 

Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers. 

Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic. Superb. 

Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone. 



CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI 

Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers. 

Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably. 

Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing. It's too painful. 
Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach. 



CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI 

Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence. 

Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. 

Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor fella, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili? 

Judge # 3 -- No report 

Love, Lust and Money! (My friend, Her Boyfriend and I.) – Part 4:

Love, Lust and Money! (My friend, Her Boyfriend and I.) – Part 4.

Its been overwhelming the responses we’ve gotten from you our readers. On the blog and social media. We’ll love you to keep, your comments coming. That’s the only way we can get better at giving you what you want.

Part 3 was explosive, providing thrills many yet expected, as Joke’s fantasies were brought to light. Giving Her a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment all at once.

What happens next would be the question on everyone’s lips?

Is Joke going to tell Niyi of her sexual escapade?

Would she be returning to Kunle, if Niyi is not able to the task or seek another lover?

The questions and expectations are limitless.

Here’s the finally installment of Love, Lust and Money! (My Friend, Her Boyfriend and I.)

Enjoy the read and drop your comments afterwards.

Love, Lust and Money! (My friend, Her Boyfriend and I.) – Part 4:

          

With left breast in hand, I taunted my nipple with my fingers. My head tilted back beyond my pillow, my throat exposed to the ceiling, my eyes rolled in fantasy, my mouth slightly opened, my tongue at the tip of my lips with my teeth resting on my tongue. The expression on my face was that of a lady about to climax. My right hand [which has now become the favourite part of my body] was doing some serious damage to my clitoris, I licked my lips as my fingers touched my G-spot just at the top right point of my clit, ‘Iissshh’ I hissed. The sole of my feet diggingdeep into my mattress, my toes daggling in the air as hot fire ran through my feet in an upwards and downwards motion, I drew my legs closer as I opened my thighs wider, my hands went crazy at the spot, oooh, was about to climax when my door flew open… ‘Girlfriend guess…’ Tola froze as she stood there, taking in the situation before her, I tried so hard to stop but I couldn’t control the emotions running through me, ‘Aaarhhkjjefkj, aoooyyy, iisshhh,’ I came while Tola stood there biting her lips, touching her as she watched me climax, that kind of turned me on some more [does that make me a lesbian?]. After a minute or two I heard my friend’s voice.

          

‘Hellooooo? Welcome back to the land of the living, it’s a good thing you are not a squirter, I would have been re-baptized you know’ I stood up slowly trying to balance my feet whilst trying to pretend I was angry. ‘Were you not taught how to knock when the door is closed’ I said eyeing her ‘Abeg abeg no gimme dat one, we dey knock for this house before? You wan pretend because I caught you in the act abi, kojora won’ she replied walking into my room grinning like a winner ‘Just tell me this, how many time do you reach orgasm a day since your breakthrough?’ it’s so hard to be angry at my friend when she’s smiling, I switched into my naughty character and grinned wildly weaving my two hands in the air ‘Three to four times’ then I laughed, hugging my friend in the process ‘oh sweets, this is so delicious! I can’t believe this is what I’ve been missing for five years! Thank you darling. I owe you big time’ I released my friend from the death hug, she inhaled air and said ‘I sure won’t forget and ama collect big big’. So what in heavens name made you barge into my room like that,’ I asked while walking into the bathroom to clean up, my friend stood and giggled, jumping lightly. ‘Ok, guess who's here’.  My heart skipped a beat, could it be kunle because I hadn't seen him since our sexual adventure; and that chapter between him, my friend and I was a closed one. Or could it be Niyi? I panicked. What if he had somehow found out about my escapades? ‘Tola spare me abeg, my brain is foggy at the moment’ she rolled her eyes at me‘You're not a good sport when it comes to the guessing game, anyways do you remember the guy I told you, I was dumpping kunle for?’ ‘The offshore engineer?’ I asked ‘Yes you’re totally right, he’s here! So get dressed, he’s taking us shopping!’ she said clapping, ’I sha don’t understand why you want to date a guy you will only see once in three month’ I complained ‘Gf, isn’t that the point? I need my creative freedom girlfriend and I think you should date one of his friends too’ she said winking at me. ‘Wait oo, just because I’ve hada fling doesn’t mean I’m out of love with my Niyi, capech? ‘Yes madam, now get dress and lets go shopping.

          

I walked into the sitting room fifteen minutes after Tola had left my room and I must confess the guy is ‘fyynee”, amen somebody? I slipped on my sophisticated,flirting act ‘Hello, welcome to our home, my name is Adejoke and I guarantee you I’m sweeter than your girl here but I can settle for a twosome if you can’t handle us’ I said all this with my left hip pushed up and out (showing my curves,) my left hand akimbo and my right hand on my breast, I chew softly on my bottom lips while giving him ‘the eye’. The poor guy looked so confuse as he starred at me and then looked at Tola. We both burst into laughter has Tola introduced me‘Emeka, meet my best friend, a disillusioned actress Adejoke, Joke this is Emeka’ ‘Pleased to finally meet our offshore man, heard a lot of good things about you and I hope you live up to the billing’ extending my right hand to his. He took it ‘The pleasure is all mine though you had me scared for a minute there, If you girls are ready, shall we go spend some money? ‘Sure’ we answered!

       

…We had so much fun Emeka, thanks for all the lovely things you bought us and itwas nice meeting you’ has I got out of Emeka’s car, ’I’ll see you tomorrow G.F, it’s time for me and my boo to be alone’ said Tola winking at me ‘Ok’. I noticed a strange car parked within my compound, I walked to my flat, thinking to myself my neighbor had stepped up his game, nice one. Walking into the living room noticed a familiar scent but couldn’t place it. Opened my room door, frozedead at the dropping everything I was carrying. This was like a page from a love magazine, there were roses on the carpet, scented candle light fragrant danced in the air; crowning it off, Niyi sat naked on my bed except for a very tight white pant which outlined every singular detail of his ‘middle belt Champion’, a bottle of champagne sat in a bucket on the side table, with my favorite seedless red grapes too and a small red box I can’t describe.

          

Darm this is bloodily romantic, I’m so wet and turned on just looking at my boyfriend! ‘Welcome home sugerpie, I miss you’ Niyi said smiling and beckoning me with his middle finger, oh gosh this is so hot! My heart did a somersault within my conscience reminding me of what I did in his absence, to my horror and amazement Niyi said. ‘You don’t look too happy seeing me, have you been up to something I should know about?’ My heart raced blood through every vein in my body; this is the moment of truth or should I lie? What am I to do? ‘Niyi I’m going to say something that would break your heart, and when I'm done with my little speech; you may want to be out of this relationship, but just know I truly love you and I didn’t mean to hurt you. Please don’t interrupt me while I'm talking’. Niyi’s face went forlorn, looking hurt without hearing what I was about to tell him, so I decided to tell him the abbreviated truth‘For five years I’ve been having sex, I’ve never reached orgasm with any of my lovers including you baby, the problem was me because I was circumcised. I met a doctor while you were away who said he could cure me of my situation but had to show me, so I agreed to have sex with him, we had sex, too my surprise, I climaxed. I wish you could find it in your heart to forgive me. I’ll understand if you don’t want to continue with this relationship’. I finished with tears in my eyes, looking down truly ashamed of myself. Niyi was quiet for five minutes or there about, couldn’t look him in the face, then I heard his voice.

          

‘I’m going to ask you some questions and I want you to answer truthfully’ ‘Ok’ I whispered. ‘Do you love this guy or does he mean anything to you?’ ‘No I don’t love him, it was just an experimental sex’ ‘Do you still love me?’ ‘Yes, I love you dearly’ ‘Will you show me how to please you in bed?’ a big grin spread across my face ‘Yes if you want’ ‘And lastly, look me in the eyes and tell me you will never cheat on me, ever again’ I raised my face, my eyes met his.’As long as we’re together, I will never cheat on you again, that I promise’. He stood, took me in his arms, ‘I’m very hurt but I forgive you baby, I can only imagine how frustrating not climaxing could have been, I’m sorry I’ve not been paying attention to my woman’s needs, I love you.’ Tears ran down the sides of my face, my heart filled with joy and gratitude ‘I’m so sorry too baby, I love you.’ He kissed my neck and whispered into my ear ‘Show me how to please you honey, command me and I’ll obey’.

          

‘Take of my dress’ he did, his eyes admiring every bit of my body, ‘Now my pants,’ he did. ‘My bra now’, he did. ‘Now kiss all over my face, my earlobe especially baby’. Niyi did as he was told and if I must confess he’s was getting me there, ‘Hmmmnn, ishhhmayee baby, yes right there, please hold on to my breast, play with my nipples’ Niyi left my ear and started sucking my breast, licking and biting my nipples while fumbling them in his hands, ‘Yes babe, that’s it, yea, isshhgfj’ he’s touching me and I can't lie, I’m enjoying every bit of it. It seems like we’re making love for the first time, he paid detailed attention to every bit of my body, kissing my inner arm, the base of my palm, giving me new found sensations. He moved down to my tommy, going downwards kissing my pussy gently and sweetly.

          

’Tell me where to go baby, tell me how to make you cum?’ he asked ‘Ok honey, just my clitoris, give due attention to it, the top right corner of my clit, that's my G-spot and whatever you do, don’t let your hand stray too far from my breast’ I lectured ‘Yes boss, may I begin your ladyship?’ ‘Yes my lord’ I said lying down and praying to God the man I love would take me there, little did I know an angel was passing. Niyi took a pillow, used it to raise my bottom up,he drew me to the edge of the bed as he knelt, wove his left hand around my left leg with his right hand to my breast as he lower his head  ‘Iisherhshsh’, I inhaled a through my teeth, taking my bottom lip into my mouth as I began to chew, closed my eye as Niyi’s mouth closed on my clit, ’Yes babe, right there, arshh, yeaaassjehf, wehhfmfk’ I moaned as Niyi chewed me lightly, ‘hhmmm, yes babe’ I raised my legs up and laid it on his back pushing his face deep into my very hot honey pot, Niyi raised his head up and asked ‘How am I doing your majesty?’ ‘Fine, shut the fuck up and go back to doing justice to my pussy, don’t you dare raise your head up until I say so!' he didn’t bother replying and did as he was instructed.

          

Niyi attacked my clit, breast with renewed vigor and passion, making me scream as I cried tears of limitless joy. I kept moaning and screaming my brains off as Niyi went in for my G-spot, ‘Shit, yea that’s it, awwooo, I’m coming, babe please don’t stop, don't, yeaaa, arshsh, I’m coming, I’m coming’ raising my hips to greet his mouth, squeezing my breast like there was no tomorrow, I blabbed until I came in his mouth. I laid there as Niyi licked me dry, soothing my thigh and stomach with his hands. He started kissing me from my thighs upwards till he reached my lips, we kissed for a while and he said ‘Wow baby, I can’t believe I’ve been so selfish, it was so pretty when you came and you tasted so good. ‘Thank you baby, this has made up for the past seven months! It’s my turn to make you cum, are you ready?’ ‘Take me there baby’ he said I climbed over him, kissing and licking his face; his forehead, his eyes, his cheeks, his nose, his ears then his mouth. ’I like that baby’ Niyi murmured. I moved on to his chest while tease kissing all over till I clamped my lips on his nipple. ‘Asrrh’ my man moaned and it pleased me to know I am doing that to him. I drew his taunt nipple into my mouth,suckled hard on them. I bit him gently and licked it; I moved on to the other nipple and gave it its due. Then I started licking downwards, stopping at his abdomen to give it a good lick, my hands roaming over his chest, ‘Baby, aaooo’ he moaned     

          

He pushed my head downwards gently, I raised my head and said ‘Patience darling, patience’ I moved downward still, kissing his left thigh to his ankle and from his right ankle to his thigh, tease kissing him around his groin area without touching his penis or balls, ‘Common baby please stop teasing’ he begged as I swallowed his dick in one motion, shedding my teeth with the inside of my mouth. I went up and down on him, he held my head, pushing his hips up to meet my mouth, then I went for his balls, took it into my mouth and gave it some tongue massage as my handshonoured his dick. Niyi was groaning, panting and moaning. I took his dick into my mouth again this time concentrating on his cap. Niyi shot up from the bed into a sitting position forcing my head off him, I asked confused, ‘Why baby’ he said, ‘as much as I’ll like to cum in your mouth, I missed that sweet juicy pussy of yours too much baby’ I smiled wanting to climb him, but he maneuvered me into a doggy position but I went all cat on him. I took a pillow, knelt on it, which raised my bum and leveled my chest on the bed holding the back of my neck with both hands.

          

Niyi eased into me gently ‘Hmmmm’ we both moaned. He went from gentle to hard and fast, I removed my right hand from my head and set it to work under me. I went supper wet almost immediately, ‘Yes baby I like this, touch yourself for me honey’, we fucked for five or more minutes before I felt it coming, I’m coming baby, please come with me; I increased the pressure on my clit as Niyi bumped into me faster, ‘Come for me now’, he commanded and I obeyed him as we came together.‘Arsgntjikfrkju ooaooeiwwek’ I really can’t say who said what at this point. After I was lounged in his arms Niyi said, ‘I brought you something from Ghana, it’s very small but it’s the only thing I think you deserve, let me get it’. He took the small red box on the side table and set it on my laps, I opened it and looked at Niyi with tears in my eye, ‘Honey, you asked me to bring back what you are worthy of, when I saw this ring I just knew you had to be my wife, will you marry me?’ I blinked severally, taking in the situation, my heart racing but filled with love, ‘Yes baby, I’ll marry you,’ I jumped on him. I’m so happy, now I’ve got my man, his money, his ring and climax, thanks to Tola and kunle.

                                     

THE END

By Olatorera - @sexitee03

Edit by @tonyobj

Joke story started as a sad case of a young lady searching for sexual satisfaction and fulfillment.

What are the lessons learnt from Joke’s as a case study? She only recently discovered that it was become of her circumcision that she wasn’t able to reach orgasm.

So should that tradition be continued?

Hope our stories have been able to reach your needs?

Send your comments.

Follow: Tony Obijeih - @tonyobj and Olatorera -  @sexitee03

Watch out for our next story from our series - Love, Lust and Money! (4 Girls, 4 Guys, 1 Night.) 

promises to be a mind blower!!