Beware of Bus Preachers

Not been blogging regularly for a while because I came down with "Bloggers Block".... lack of inspiration to come out with something genuine instead of recycled news. So I decided to hit town with my spiritual high, in search of inspiration. Afterall, I'm merely a normal Lagos boy.



A few days ago, I stood at Ogba bus stop, I really don't remember what I was doing there, so don't ask. I saw some fine-looking things enter the bus and I needed to get gist badly. You know how "chatterboxie" ... sorry, "chatty" they get when they on a row. So I hopped into the bus from Ogba to Ojota and took a sit right behind them. "Aproko style".


No sooner had the bus started moving when a woman behind me started praise and worship in a very loud igbotic voice. Sometimes I sing along, other times, I don't. Depending on my mood. On this very day, I didn't. I had a separate mission.

After praise and worship, she prayed then started preaching. I wonder who lied to her that she had the annointing of preaching.


These were her words,
Let us pray to God for forgiveness of our sins, for the wages of sin is death. That is why we have so many young young people dying nowadays.... In my mind, I was like..... as if old people have not been dying as well.

In the bible, if you drink alcohol it's a sin and you will die.
If you smoke, it's a sin and you will die.... Now, I'm thinking, why is this woman looking for cheap points? Is it because she can see the small plastic bottle of Origin and packet of Benson in my pocket?

In the bible, it is written that it is a sin for women to wear trousers and other male clothing. Suddenly, the fine-looking things in front of me started giggling. The woman, clearly unperturbed, went on. It is a sin for women to fix their hair. It is a sin for women to wear make up. Fashion is evil, it is a tool of the devil to lure the children of God to hell.
Now, I'm clearly confused, because she has decided to adopt her personal interpretation of whatever she has been reading.

In the bible, immorality is a sin... At this someone in the bus shouted "I AGREE!!! HAVE YOU PREACHED THESE TO YOUR DAUGHTERS?"

....PAUSE......

....GENERAL LAUGHTER.....

She continues ... Immorality is a sin, and that is why there are so many uncurable diseases nowadays. Diseases like AIDS, Ebola....

Suddenly, one of the fine-looking things in front of me declares ......... Ebola is not my portion. Everybody answered AMEN.
Me, I'm thinking, is there something wrong with everybody in this bus? AIDS nko? God abeg none of them be my portion oooo. In Jesus name. AMEN!!! Before AIDS begin vex for background say nobody dey fear am again.

So goes on .....Yes, that is why...that is why .....

Driver replies..... Woman shout up your mouth there. No dey twist the bible to suit your own understanding. Abi you no read the part wey say na sin make woman dey preach for bible?

He inserts a CD... The next thing we all hear is .......

".......
some people go dey use dem head
use am like dustbin
all the problems of the world
dem be dumping
in dem head
........

Some people be acting like they know it all
Cos every time we see some people rise and fall
So rise up again just to stand up tall
and wiser and stronger.
Remember, no matter how long you live
You cannot learn it all
You can only do your best
because you no go fit do all
So if you cant to criticize me
Talk small small
You no holy pass, my brotherrr...."

I got down thinking to myself
1. Are there really people in Nigeria, who still think like this woman?
2. I wonder what she tells her husband and children?

God save us all.

However, I must say..... This is the best bus trip I have ever had in all my years as a normal Lagos boy.