The Origin Of ‘Ìyàwó’, The Yoruba Word For Wife !!!

It is unknown to many speakers of the Yorùbá language that the original Yorùbá word for wife is ‘aya’ and not the commonly used ‘Ìyàwó’.
Back in the early years of the Yorùbá people, the word Iyawo did not have a place in the Yorùbá language not until an incident brought about its coinage and usage. Old Nigeria present you the origin of the Yorùbá word Ìyàwó .

Origin of the Yorùbá word Ìyàwó:
Long ago in Yorùbá land, a beautiful princess and daughter of the first king of Iwó town named Wúràọlá was in the quest of getting herself a patient, tolerant and well mannered husband.
Strong and good looking men, the likes of Sàngó, Ògún and others, had already traveled to Iwó town to seek the hand of Wúràọlá in marriage but left not with a wife but uncontrollable anger. Wúràọlá had been rude to everyone of them. In fact, she hurled insults and curses at her suitors which made them all leave on the same day they arrived the town of Iwo because they couldn’t tolerate her bad behaviors.
Ọ̀rúnmìlà, a good looking man, also journeyed to Iwó in the bid to win the hand of Wúràọlá in marriage. But before he set out, he had already consulted Olódùmarè, the supreme being, through Ifá . Olódùmarè revealed to Òrúnmìlà that he must be patient with Wúràọlá and endure her behaviors no matter how bad they are in order to succeed in the quest of marrying Wúràọlá .
When Òrúnmìlà got to the palace of the king of Iwó, he was greeted with a hiss and scornful look by Wúràọlá. The unperturbed Òrúnmìlà smiled and returned her greetings with kind and sweet words and also presented gifts to the king.
Òrúnmìlà stayed in Iwó for seven days which can be described as nothing but a hell on earth. Wúràọlá didn’t serve Òrúnmìlà water let alone food. She insulted the goodness out of Òrúnmìlà but he stayed calm and smiled at her. He even smiled when she used his opon ifa (divination board) as firewood and when she took his pouch (àpò ominijekun) from him. Though, Òrúnmìlà boiled with rage, still, he didn’t show it or leave Iwo according to the instructions of Olódùmarè .
On the sixth day of Òrúnmìlà's stay in Iwó town, the king of Iwó gave Wúràọlá in marriage to him after concluding that he is a patient, kind and tolerant man suitable to marry his daughter. Meanwhile, Wúràọlá's bad behaviors were planned to test her suitors so as to get her a husband with good manners and temper. She was a lovely, caring and well behaved lady. Òrúnmìlà was glad that he heeded to the instructions of Olódùmarè and on the seventh day, he and Wúràọlá journey back to his town.
Òrúnmìlà was welcomed and praised by his townspeople for his achievement. When they asked him about Wuraola, his wife, he responded, “Ìyà tí mo jẹ ní Iwó” (my sufferings in Iwó town) That was how wives became known as Ìyà-Iwó (sufferings in Iwó) and now Ìyàwó . So men don't be afraid or surprise by what u experience daily, it started from ages.

*Happy Holidays to All*
Shared by: Ade Oluwo

Did you know.....

Apongbon street was named after Acting Governor McCrosky. Strange? Yes. Prior to his appointment as Acting Governor, he was a business man and Assessor to the court in Tinubu. He was a friend to Fagbemi Dawodu, the rich business man of Nupe origin(Tapa) turned Lagosian. When Fagbemi reverted to Christianity after abandoning Ifa that he was born into. McCrosky was his God-father at his baptism. Fagbemi was the owner of the giant house that sprawled from Broad Street to the Marina at Olowogbowo.
The CMS mission rented it to house offices and residence for Bishop Ajayi Crowther. The school founded by Crowther's son-in-law, Rev Thomas Babington Macaulay, (CMS Grammar School) was also initially housed there. The front of that building was named Bishop Street (till today). The street nearest to it is at the back was named Apongbon Street (till today) after Fagbemi's friend, McCrosky who was bald in the head but had a bushy ginger-colored beard. So all over Lagos he was known as Oyinbo a-pon-ni-gbon. (the white man with the reddish beard). A-pon-ni-gbon was shorteneded to Apongbon.

My Genuine Wish

I genuinely wish I could be like Jesus Christ, not in holiness or godliness, but in temperament. I wish a side of my cheek could be slapped and I would have the temerity to turn the other side, overlook disrespect and refuse to fight back at the height of provocation.

How I wish that if someone calls me Stinking, I could compliment the person as smelling nice. My wishful inclination to emulate Jesus abounds, but my capacity to be close is afar. I guess nobody can be like Him, though some are better at striving to be than others.

I also wish I could be like Mandela, Dr. Martin Luther king  or Indira Gandhi so that I would preach, tutor and befriend my oppressors and bullies about Love, peace and the importance of reconciliation, but I guess THE CREATOR made me to be like Moses, David and Malcom X, so that when you choose to kill my chicken I orchestrate to break your eggs, when you want to reincarnate to be modern day Goliath, I seek for strength to defeat you and when you choose to deny me my GOD given right, liberty and freedom, I go all the way to protect me.

Oh, I wish I could be like Henry Kissinger, not in personality but in diplomacy, so that I could have a good understanding of diplomatic gimmicks and pretend to like you when I am sure that you cannot stand my gut, but my innermost believe that diplomacy when individual is hypocrisy will not permit me. My sincere distaste for hypocrisy is so original and inborn that my mood and dispositions can not be faked. My love is for those that love me truly. I wish I could always be politically and empathetically correct all the time but my spontaneous reactions have no room for baloney and it's embellishment.

But all in all, my gratitude is to GOD, not only for the gift of easiness to be me, the endowment to enjoy and find strength in my personhood, my idiosyncrasies, my laxities and inadequacies, but most importantly for my ability to at all times have an unbelievable level of confidence in myself that friends and foes find incomprehensible.

ONÍRÈSÉ

Before ÒYÓ became what we know today as Oyo town and Oyo state, it was known as ÒYÓ-ILÉ which Historians referred to as OLD OYO EMPIRE.
That was the Era when the ALÁÀFIN had the autonomous power and referred as;
"Alaşę ikeji Orişa" ( the 2nd in command to the gods). There was an absolute Power endowed to the Alaafin all over Yoruba Kingdom. The powers can only be checked by the OYOMESI, for the purpose of CHECK and BALANCE.
Infact, there was one Alaafin who ordered for the head of his father in-law, simply because the wife indirectly challenged his Authority while bathing the Alaafin in the bathroom. (You can grab a copy of BASHORUN GAA to see full story).
Thus, the trio phrase of; 'IKÚ BÀBÁ YÈYÉ" which is translated as; " THE DEATH, THE PATERNAL and THE MATERNAL" might not mean anything to us in this modern Democatic Era but in the ancient Yoruba Days, it meant a great deal.

Behind the Alaafin Oyo's Palace in the Ancient days were rows of stalls where wood and calabash carvers known as ONÍRÈSÉ engaged in their craft work. ONÍRÈSÉ as earlier said literally means CALABASH CARVERS but among these carvers, one was nicknamed ONÍRÈSÉ. He was a Divinely gifted Carver.
During his birth, an IFA priest who was consulted by his parent, informed that the new born baby will be a great leader and one day, he will find himself in a strange land across the Ocean among the white people. But he must not engage in any work than the Carving business.
His kinsmen were not surprised with the calibre of people that were patronising ONÍRÈSÉ as he was growing into the carving business. The Alaafin, his chiefs, Kings from neighbouring towns and all idol worshippers were all customers to this young man. His work was second to none in the entire Yoruba Region.
One day, some Europeans who had come to Oyo for tourism and to study the Monarchical system of the Oyo Empire stumbled into the stall of ONÍRÈSÉ and they were completely amazed by the excellent craft works done by him. After said and done, ONÍRÈSÉ found himself in an exhibition in Switzerland where his work became the best among others. ONÍRÈSÉ spent 13 years touring different part of Europe with the help of an European lady who had become his close Associate.
After tying the knot with this lady after an Exhibition in a small town in Sweden, ONÍRÈSÉ decided to return home with his new bride for proper African traditional wedding.
The entire Oyo township and its environ were filled to the brim with people who had come to witness this very rare marriage. It was a showcase of pure African tradition and the Europeans that witnessed the occasion were fully entertained.

After the wedding rites, the Alaafin bestowed the title of BAALE ÌRÈSÉ to ONÍRÈSÉ for the great honour he brought to Oyo kingdom. With the new title and responsibility, the Alaafin believed that the white woman would mot take the great man back to her strange land again.
At this period back home, ONÍRÈSÉ desist from making calabash again rather he focused on other lucrative businesses and the governing of his little Area.
His old customers who were highly placed all over Yoruba Kingdom approached him to make Calabash for them but he refused bluntly, encouraging them to patronize his kinsmen who are still into the business. This attitude annoyed some prominent chiefs in Oyo and they reported him to the Alaafin,  saying the man had become so arrogant and disrespectful. They wanted Alaafin to give him him a marching order to continue with the carving skill.
The Alaafin in his wisdom replied thus;
Eyin Oyomesi,  BÍ ONÍRÈSÉ BÁ KÒ TÓ LÓHUN Ò FÍN'GBÁ MÓ, ÈYÍ TÓ TI FÌN SÍLÈ KÒ LE PARUN LAELAE". This simply means; if ONÍRÈSÉ, the calabash carver desist from making calabash again, the ones he had made in the past can never be perished.

***

Credit- yinka egbeyemi.

PASTOR'S SECRET WIFE

Episode  One

The last abortion I did was the fourth time I'm doing abortion for you. You want to destroy all the children in my womb? When I finally get married, what will I give to my husband? I will not abort this pregnancy, I will keep it and face the shame. Stella lamented to her secret boyfriend after he asked her to go for abortion as usual. You know I am a pastor and my integrity is at stake if you keep this pregnancy. What will I tell my wife? What do you want me to tell my G.O? How will I stand my congregation? Those who wanted my downfall all this while will now have the opportunity to ground me. You can't keep the pregnancy Stella. These and more were the words of Pastor Olumodeji, when Stella insisted she will keep the pregnancy this time.

How did it go? I asked my friend. Stella has been my childhood friend for over two decades now. Every time she was pregnant for pastor Olumodeji, I was the only one she confided in. We were both members of the central choir until pastor Olumodeji transferred me to our new branch in the mainland and made me the head of the choir. He made it look like he was promoting me but I knew he was no longer comfortable seeing me in the same church he pastors, knowing how much of his secrets I have known. Before my transfer, whenever he preaches about righteousness and our eyes jammed, you could notice the uneasiness on him. I didn't know how my friend entered into this prison. All our attempts to stop their illicit relationship failed severally. They had used me most often to clean up their mess. Why I connived with them to continually help them cover up still remains a mystery to me.

Stella, you're keeping this pregnancy this time. How long will you continue to protect an integrity that does not exist? A man of integrity does not sleep with his church members. It is high time you let the church know what pastor Olumodeji has been doing in the secret. If we continue to cover this evil for him, God  will not spare us in his judgement. He should just accept responsibility for his action, I told Stella. I have made up my mind to keep the pregnancy and there's no going back on that but I won't implicate pastor Olumodeji. I can't stand the shame and humiliation. I can't watch and see the church I helped built from the scratch crumble right in my face because of my illicit affair with the pastor. I will not be the one who will be the tool of destruction for the church of God. Pastor Olumodeji may be stained but there are still righteous people in the church. Hearing this will puncture the faith of the young believers who trust him so much. I will run away with my pregnancy to an unknown destination. This is what I will do and I don't want you to advice me against it. Stella said.

Very early in the morning before I woke up from the bed, my phone rang. when I checked my caller, it was our area pastor, my friend's secret boyfriend, pastor Olumodeji. Without doubt, I knew why he was calling me. It must be in connection with Stella's pregnancy. This time I wasn't going to be the good girl I used to be, I will be blunt and straight to pastor. I was still thinking of dirty and derogatory words to use against pastor when I picked his call, then the call ended. I was expecting him to call me back because I knew he must have had a sleepless night over the issue. While I was waiting for his call, Stella's call came in. I picked and couldn't hear her as the call kept breaking due to network problem. I can't hear you Stella, let me call you with my mtn line, I suggested. As I tried to dial her number, pastor's call interrupted. I refused to pick his call so I can speak with my friend first. The more I tried to reach Stella, the more his calls kept interrupting. At this time, I realized he was really desperate and agitated. I was literally confused but not answering his calls may send a wrong signal. I decided to pick his call. "Hello sister Mercy" he said. " Hello pastor" I replied.

I need to see you urgently sister Mercy. We have to talk now, I don't  mind meeting you in your house or somewhere else. He said in a worried voice. Can you imagine my area pastor humble himself to this extent because he had defecated in the wrong place? No wonder the Bible says "there is no peace for the wicked". The thought of using this case to milk him started running through my mind while I was still on the phone with him. But on a second thought, is it not our church resources he will use to service the ransoms? I reasoned within me.

To be continued in Episode Two

A MUST READ: WHEN I NEARLY SCAMMED THE SCAM

Early this week I received a call from phone number 08139239474. He identified himself as Uchenna, a trader based in Abuja. He told me he got my number from the Nigerian Property website, and he is interested in one of the properties I advertised. The property is located at Orji and is worth 7 million naira. He agreed to pay immediately.

I told him he should send someone or come down here himself to inspect the property, but he said he was recently settled by his Oga and is always busy these days. He trusts me and he wants to transfer the money to my account to buy it for him in his name. I was a bit surprised.
Sounds so strange someone who I have never met before, who is talking to me on phone for the first time would just "trust" me and transfer a whooping sum of 7 million to my account for a property transaction. I smelt the scam. I also remembered a colleague shared this kind of information in our Lawyers Forum recently, so I decided to play along.

Evening the next day, he called me back and told me he will not do the transfer again. He was too busy to go to bank. He said he has now locked up the 7 million in the freezer compartment of an old refrigerator which he will waybill to me that evening. I told him I'm ok with the arrangement.

Around 9pm this number 08102319846 called me and said he is Driver Ayuba with my waybill item. He said I should wait for him at Control Post Owerri the next morning around  7am. I told him sir I will be there even by 5.

Fast forward next morning, I didn't get a call from the "driver" till about 8.30am. He called me  shouting untop of his voices that the refrigerator he was bringing me is frustrating his journey. It has been seized by Customs at Delta State. He threatened to drop the package if I don't settle the Customs officers immediately. I told him to be patient and everything will be alright. He gave his phone to the "customs officer" to negotiate with me. Then the Kannywood movie started.

The custom officer was like "Kai oga I don seize am for your package. I go smash am oga. I go find out wetin de inside. Boko haram I finish this kantry, boko haram I come to south east. Kai oga bomb fit de inside this your fridge. I go smash am I go find out wetin de inside"

At this moment I couldn't hold myself. I was laughing all through but maintained my cool. Then I asked him what's the solution. He said I must pay 80,000 naira to them immediately. I told him Oga, I wan pay. Abeg no smash the package. E de important to me. Then he sent me this account details
(Odiakaose Joshua. FCMB, ACC NO 5194987013).

I told him I got it and I'm about to make the transfer. Then I ended the call and waited for 5 minutes. My Nwa- Aba instincts kicked in.
I called them back and told them there is a problem. The transfer is not going through. I just found my MB has finished. I asked them to help me out by transferring 1000 MTN airtime to me so that I can subscribe and send them the 80,000 immediately. All I could hear was laughter in the  background. The "Hausa" Custom officer started speaking pure pigin
He was like " This my brother you strong o, na brain go kill you" He laughed and ended the call.
...and this is just heads up for everyone to be careful out there. Many people have discovered their hidden talents in this Buhari economy. Don't be a victim!

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How to Get Rid of Dangerous Visceral Fat

Today’s lifestyle is geared towards making us fat. We work more hours than ever, so we don’t want to spend our precious few hours off cooking healthy meals, so we opt for less-healthy, quicker options. High stress coupled with the unhealthy foods we eat lead to insane levels of body fat production!

In addition, we are constantly bombarded with

Benefits of Walking

You may not think of walking as much more than a way to get from point A to B. As humans, it is our primary method of movement, but much less involved and less enjoyable than other activities we routinely engage in, so it’s not hard to overlook its importance beyond the immediacy of transportation. However, walking, just like any movement, is a form of exercise, and because it is something so simple, we should take advantage of it more often. Walking, even slowly, or for short periods of time offers various benefits that become more important as we age.

A French study revealed

They Said Coconut Oil Was Great for You but This Is What You Don’t Know

Unless you have been living under a rock for the last few years, then you have probably heard of coconut oil and all of its amazing health and beauty benefits. But what is it about coconut oil that makes everyone rave endlessly about all of its awesomeness? Well, coconut oil is made up of 90% medium-chain saturated fatty acids. This is a combination of mono-unsaturated fatty acids and poly-unsaturated fatty acids. These fatty acids are easily digested, absorbed, and utilized in the body. These medium-chain fatty acids can also easily cross the blood-brain barrier in the unbound form so that your brain can use it as energy. Coconut oil has also been shown to help slow and prevent the spread of cancer cells, act as an anti-inflammatory, is anti-microbial, rich in antioxidants, improves nutrient absorption, and is non-toxic to humans and animals. Since coconut oil is good for your body, inside and out, here are some easy, at-home DIY health and beauty tricks you can do with coconut oil.

THE NAKED TRUTH

According to a 19th century legend, the Truth and the Lie meet one day. The Lie says to the Truth: "It's a marvellous day today"! The Truth looks up to the skies and sighs, for the day was really beautiful.

They spend a lot of time together, ultimately arriving beside a well. The Lie tells the Truth: "The water is very nice, let's take a bath together!" The Truth, once again suspicious, tests the water and discovers that it indeed is very nice. They undress and start bathing. Suddenly, the Lie comes out of the water, puts on the clothes of the Truth and runs away. The furious Truth comes out of the well and runs everywhere to find the Lie and to get her clothes back. The World, seeing the Truth naked, turns its gaze away, with contempt and rage. The poor Truth returns to the well and disappears forever, hiding therein, its shame. Since then, the Lie travels around the world, dressed as the Truth, satisfying the needs of society, because, the World, in any case, harbours no wish at all to meet the naked Truth.

~ From “The Truth coming out of the well"; Jean-Léon Gérôme, 1896.

Paul McCartney Smoked the Strongest Weed of His Life With Fela Kuti

He told the story in an interview for Marc Maron's WTF podcast.
Paul McCartney recently sat for an extended interview with Marc Maron in which he covered a bunch of Beatles memories, as well as many from his releases with Wings and solo career.

One anecdote that stands out is about his 1973 album with Wings, Band on the Run, which was recorded in Lagos, Nigeria.

Paul mentions that he decided to record in Nigeria because at that time it was "kind of fashionable for people not to record in their normal studios." So, he asked his label EMI what international locations they had studios in, and when he heard of the Lagos studio he was set on Nigeria.

When Paul arrives in Nigeria, the first thing he sees in the papers were headlines of Fela Kuti accusing him of "coming to steal the black man's music," a story he's told many times before.

So he calls up Fela and invites him to the studio to hear the songs he's working on, to prove that his recordings are nothing like afrobeat or any other African music. That's where the new bits of details of this story start.

In Paul McCartney's own words:

"[Fela] came over with his 30 wives and a studio full of ganja. He was one wild cat, he used to have a bottle of whiskey in which was marinating a pound of pot... in the whiskey. We turned out to be real good friends, he got it, he said 'no you're not doing that' [stealing African music].

Ginger Baker was there, he was his big friend. So, Fela invites us to his club which was outside Lagos, the Afrika Shrine. This was a few of us, little white people, me and a couple of friends. So we go out there and I say, '"let's not smoke any pot." Cause it's pretty crazy, we're out in the jungle and it's pitch black.

So we're sitting there with Fela [at The Shrine] and one of Fela's guys comes up, he's crouching and he's got a packet of Rothmans cigarettes. They're all joints. He goes, '"You want one of these?" I say, "no thanks," so he carries around and gets to Ginger Baker who says "Yeah man! Sure!'"

Then Fela shouts, "Ginger Baker! The only man I know never refuse a smoke!"

So I go, "A-ha! Ok, I'll have one of those."

Man. I tripped out. It was so strong. It was stronger than anything I've ever had, I don't know if there was something in it.

But in the end it was a good night.

THE OSOGBO WAR OF 1840

After the Fulanis systematically captured and made Ilorin their territory, they sacked the old Oyo Empire in 1835/1636 .

They were still not satisfied with their victory; they wished to extend their rule deep into the heart of Yoruba land. Thus in 1840, they set to capture Osogbo , a Yoruba town. The Fulanis, under the command of Ali , the Hausa balogun of Ilorin, laid siege on Osogbo.

When the king of Osogbo realized that the Ilorins were too strong for the Osogbo army, he summoned the Ibadans for help. Ibadan immediately sent some auxiliaries to Osogbo under the command of Obele alias Mobitan , and Alade Abimpagun. As this force could not stop the Ilorins, another contingent was sent to Osogbo under a more experienced leader. But still the Ilorins won every battle and gained more ground.

When Ibadan realized that the Ilorins were becoming more threatening to Yoruba land, they sent a large and stronger force under Balogun Oderinlo to crush the intruding forces and Jammas of Ilorin . When Oderinlo and his men arrived at the battlefield, they realized that things had gone worse than they thought.

They could not show their faces in the open field for the fear of the Ilorin horses, and for about 20 days after their arrival at Osogbo, they could not fight outside the town thickets. Oderinlo suggested that Elepo, a brave Ibadan warrior was badly needed at the war-front. Elepo had been rejected by the war-chiefs of Ibadan for his actions at the late Agbamaja expedition.

As soon as the message from Oderinlo reached Ibadan, the Bashorun wished he could send Elepo to Osogbo but could not go against the wish of other war-chiefs. The Bashorun gave Elepo a cow to worship his god, Ori , and pray for the victory of Ibadan at the war-front.

At the war-front, the Ibadan could not attack the Ilorins during the day because Osogbo was practically in a plain and the Ilorin horses might have advantage of them with disastrous results.

They decided to attack at dusk when the Ilorins would no longer be able to use their horses. About 2:pm, the well prepared Ibadan army left the gate of Osogbo for the battlefield. They were to keep a strict watch and arrest anyone suspected to be a spy.

About a mile from the Ilorin camp, they halted and arranged the order of the attack.

The Osogbo army and the earlier auxiliaries were to handle the center of the battlefield, chiefs Abitiko and Labuju were to command the right wing, Balogun Oderinlo with the rest of the Ibadan war-chiefs were to form the left wing of the army. The Ilorin camp was then attacked at midnight. The watchword was “ Elo ni owo odo? ” (How much is the ferry fare?).

The reason this watchword was chosen was because the river Osun had to be crossed in entering Osogbo from the south, and anyone who could not tell this was likely to be an enemy.

Stampede engulfed the Ilorin camp as the Ibadan army set it on fire. The Ilorins could not offer the slightest resistance; they were smoked with the gunpowder of the Ibadan guns.

This attack was a success for the Ibadan. Some Ilorin war-chiefs were captured in the attack. Prominent ones were:
1. Jimba the head slave of the Emir;
2. One of the sons of Ali the commander in chief;
3. Chief Lateju;
4. Ajikobo the Yoruba Balogun of Ilorin.
The first two were released while the latter two, being Yoruba by birth, were regarded as traitors and were executed. This was a huge victory for the whole of Yoruba land. After the Osogbo victory,
Ibokun, an Ijesa town not far from Osogbo was taken by the Ibadans for being an ally of Ilorin.
After this war, Ìbàdàn later became a force building a formidable war machinery than later prosecuted many other wars with resounding victory.
Notable among the wars was the KIRIJI WAR where the Ibadan warlords formed a historic alliance with the Igbajos. Even though Igbajo became the war front for many years that the war lasted, it was never captured by the raging Ekiti parapò warriors. Rather it was a place where many of them met their Waterloo.
Notable among the warriors were Fabunmi Okeemesi, Ogedengbe Agbogun gboro of the Ijesas, Apasikoto pasigegele of Igbajo and Latoosa of Ibadan to mention a few. There were many more great warriors of the time.
It's worthy to note that the KIRIJI WAR was the last war in Yoruba land. It's also recorded as the longest native war between in Africa.
Since then the Yoruba people have continued to build strong bonds among themselves and they have sustained the peace.

We must continue to tell our children the history of the Yoruba people and the bond which our father had built so that we can continue to see ourselves as one. If the Ibadan people can sacrifice their lives for the people of Osogbo in other to safe other towns and villages in Yoruba land and in essence the carnage of innocent people were prevented, then, we the modern Yorubas have no reason to divide ourselves for political reasons or any reason at all.
Our leaders must continue to put their lives in the forefront to safe the land from all aggression.
And we have the responsibility to support, to advise and to pray for all our leaders irrespective of political divide.

God bless our leaders,
God bless Yoruba land
God bless Nigeria.

The Murder of Ronald Opus

WRAP YOUR HEAD AROUND THIS IF YOU CAN!

On March 23, 1994 the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head.
Mr. Opus had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide. He left a note to the effect indicating his despondency.
As he fell past the ninth floor his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window, which killed him instantly.
Neither the shooter nor the deceased was aware that a safety net had been installed just below the eighth floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned.
"Ordinarily," Dr Mills continued, "A person, who sets out to commit suicide and ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he intended, is still defined as committing suicide."
That Mr. Opus was shot on the way to certain death, but probably would not have been successful because of the safety net, caused the medical examiner to feel that he had a homicide on his hands.
In the room on the ninth floor, where the shotgun blast emanated, was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously and he was threatening her with a shotgun.
The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger he completely missed his wife and the pellets went through the window striking Mr. Opus.
When one intends to kill subject "A" but kills subject "B" in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject "B".
When confronted with the murder charge the old man and his wife were both adamant and both said that they thought the shotgun was unloaded.
The old man said it was a long-standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her. Therefore the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident; that is, if the gun had been accidentally loaded.
The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple's son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal accident.
It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother.
Since the loader of the gun was aware of this, he was guilty of the murder even though he didn't actually pull the trigger.
The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.
Now comes the exquisite twist.
Further investigation revealed that the son was, in fact, Ronald Opus. He had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother's murder. This led him to jump off the ten-story building on March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth story window.
The son had actually murdered himself, so the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.

A true story from Associated Press, Reported by Kurt Westervelt.
Facts are sometimes stranger then fiction!

Zidane ready to replace Mourinho as Man Utd manager —Reports

After failing to acquire any of their targeted defenders during the pre-season Premier League transfer window, Jose Mourinho’s Manchester United have had a worrying start to the season, fueling speculation of Mourinho being replaced.

Former Real Madrid manager Zinedine Zidane is

GTBank MD Arrested for Assaulting a Staff

A Nigerian man, Ayodeji Bejide, who is the Managing Director of Guaranty Trust (GT) Bank, Liberia, has been arrested for assaulting a staff of the bank, on Tuesday. .

Both Bejide and the staff, Edward

Mazi Abe Idris©

.......In April, I was slumming it with my pals at one buka in Itire, Surulere.

It was those kind of bukas that sell beer on the side, so we were  having a real go at it, beering and eating at the same time, having a big laugh an' all.

The gist got round to stuff about London and we were all going yak yak yak...

The London talk seemed to have caught the attention of some puff puff cheeked Lady seated across from my own bench, because she suddenly started starring at me.

I ignored the looku looku and continued the jives with my homies.

Then suddenly "eskiss me, were you in London before?"

I looked up from my plate of àbulá and it was Sisi Puff Puff...

I hesitated, pausing my shàkí onigba'we in mid-air, before I answered her.

"Erm..... erm... erm.. yesh ma" I whispered back to her, as if I was ashamed of my answer. I quickly put the waiting shàkí away into my mouth.

She seemed to catch on to my hesitation and 'embarrassment'

With one sweep of her aproko eyes, she took in my non-ironed polo-neck top, my torn dirty jeans and #100 Naira bathroom slippers of two different colours.

I was now licking the gbegiri soup off my hand hungrily, casting furtive glances at her own plate, filled with all the randabats and ponmó junctions in Lagos.

I could see the pity in her eyes, as she juggled in her mind whether to push her plate of meat towards me.

I smiled up at her, wiping some imaginary catarrh off my sniffling nose with the short sleeve of my dirty top.

It was too much to bear for Ms aproko.

She leaned over our wooden table, whispering conspiratorially:

"My brother, don't you worry, I understand your situation. I was deported myself, 5 years ago.

"In the beginning,It was rough for me. I suffered, jus like you are suffering now, but I persevered. Finally, I made it"

I wiped an imaginary tear away with my clean hand.

Me, I was eyeing her pepper soaked stock fish quietly, as she continued to jabò anyhow.

She seemed to follow my gaze, because she slowly smiled with understanding and pushed her plate towards me. I grabbed the pánlá! and started chewing,  as I continued listening to Madam Theresa preaching.

All my yèyé friends who had been watching the unfolding drama with quiet amusement, burst into noisy laughter, falling over themselves.

"Abe Jand!! you don crase, walahi!" Wole, my cousin smacked me playfully across the head.

"Haaaa! Itzz not good to laugh at him o....no condition is permanent"  my new benefactor chided them.

My friends were in tears with laughter! Yeye boys.

The laughter got riotous when I reached over for another cow foot from my new best friend's meat buffet dish.

"These yèyé boys wee knock my job o" I mused to myself.

"Jesus is your saviour, my darling" she comforted me again.

Darling ké? Chai! I don hammer!

"These ones you sit here with are not your friends o.

"Look at the way they are dressed and look at you" she pointed at Mohammed's, my gateman's slippers I had quickly taken off him, when Wole pulled up outside the house in his American Lincoln Jeep.

I was about to do a Fayose-crying-on TV performance when she patted me on the thigh and whispered again:

"Look, take my card and call me later. Ok? I haff to go now"

She leaned over again to pass me her business card and I had to quickly avert my eyes as her twin heaving mountains threatened to spillover onto my face.

I moved my face closer "thank you ma, I wee call you as soon as I get rid of these animals" nodding at my alakoba friends.

"Mama, how much is my food? I am paying for my man's food too"

Haaaaaa! Osheyyy! 😍😍😍

"Aaah! they deported all of us together ni o!!" my guys shouted in unison. 😂😂😂

"Ok, later niyen, my dear" as she rolled her G-wagon out of the buka, her driver having already pulled up on cue, in an AC chilled 4x4. Śege!

"Omo, you don chop be that o!" Wole slapped me on the back. "Na you dey untidy pass among us, an' na you come win las las. London boy wayo!"

.......After another three or four bottles of Orijin®, I no even know where I throway the business card sef.

Though I suspect.......erm,.......

Good morning and may you jam luck in your humble ways this weekend ☕️☕️🙏🏾

©Mazi Abe Media 2018.

IT IS NOT MY FAULT!

“NG please now,” Mike whispered as he tried to pull his sister Ngozi to face him on the bed. “You know mummy went to bed early and may soon get up for her mid night prayers.” he continued. “Michael leave me alone.” Ngozi almost shouted. “I have told you that I am on but you don’t want to hear. If we do anything now and the bed spread gets stained how do you explain that to mummy? Have you forgotten so soon how you almost let the cat out of the bag the other time something like that happened? I don’t know why you don’t like being reasonable at times! I have told you that we need to be cautious now that daddy is not at home because mummy leaves her bedroom door open and can come out any moment.” But Mike would not take no for an answer and continued pleading and tugging on Ngozi’s see-through pink night wear.

Meanwhile Mrs. Ajo-ife suddenly woke from sleep and sat upright on her bed for no known reason. As she sat there motionless on her bed she could hear faint voices from her children’s room, which was just adjacent to hers. She became curious to know what they were talking about by that time of the night. She got up quietly and moved to her bedroom door, which was open and put her head out through the curtain to listen more carefully to the sound coming from her children’s room.

The discussion between 16 year old Mike and his 14 year old sister Ngozi continued with Mike saying, “NG Pleeeeaaase now. Can’t you understand? I can’t stand it any longer! This is 5 days running, I mean 5 whole days and we have not had fun. Do you know how I feel? I don’t have any other girl friend out there and I doubt if you have any boy friend either. Don’t you have feelings?” Ngozi whispered back, “Mike I understand but you are the one who does not understand. Please let’s be cautious. I am even tired of taking those pills everyday to avoid getting pregnant. And mum has started complaining that I am putting on weight, likewise other people who knew me before now. I am sure one of these days mummy may drag me to the hospital for medical checkup and of course you will appear innocent.”

By now Mrs. Ajo-ife had tiptoed to his children’s door and could vividly hear the discussion going on between his children. She was transfixed to the spot on hearing what the children said to each other but was too stunned to shout or make any move. She thought she was dreaming. Just then, she heard..

“Ng baby, please just help me for this night. We will talk about better ways to be cautious later. I can’t imagine spending this night without enjoying that sweetness which I can only get from your body. Please my sister, my love. I am dying of passion. For the past two years we have not stayed this length of time without having fun, and you are getting sweeter by the day.” Mummy could hear her daughter as she sighed, “Oooh! I will allow you just for this night but after today we have to think of another way of satisfying ourselves. But you have to be very gentle and I need a lot of fore play. I told you that I am on. See you, you have removed your boxers already! Naughty boy! Don’t tear my night wear unless you will explain to mummy what happened to it in the morning.”

At this juncture Mrs. Ajo-ife could not hold it any longer. She opened the door of the room and met her son on top of his sister, right in the act. She stood there clutching the door handle, looking at the two youngsters who were startled by the opening of the door had. They sat up on the bed and grabbed different ends of the bed spread for covering.

After what seemed like eternity, Mrs. Ajo-ife stammered almost voicelessly, “What the hell is going on here?” This question initially got no answer but after a while, Mike braced up and said, “I-I-I-I am sorry mum. IT IS NOT MY FAULT!” Ngozi was too broken to utter a word. She could only sob and sob. Their mum asked, “Mike did I hear you say it is not your fault? What is not your fault? And whose fault is it?” The drama continued, but let me end the episode here.

I want to ask, what would you call the relationship between Mike and his sister Ngozi? I know you will say it is in incest because that is the English and religious name of that act. But I would like to call it sex abuse in the family. I want to share with us causes of sex abuse in the family.

But before then let me tell you that stories similar to the one you read above or even worse versions of it abound in families today. A few weeks ago I posted the story of a 9 year old boy who confessed that he had been sleeping with his 7 year old sister every other night for more than one year. There was also the story of a teenage boy who impregnated his twin sister, somewhere in the Mid-Western part of Nigeria. If you give me time and space I will tell you more real life stories like these but I don’t think that it is necessary. How did we find ourselves in this mess? Come with me let me show you some of the things we do in our families, which give rise to sex abuse at home.

• Parents do not teach their children sex education early enough.

At times we forget that emotions are controlled by hormones, and as such do not know who is a blood relation or a distant acquaintance. We underestimate the force of attraction that exists between siblings, especially in their teen years when they have the greatest emotional and sexual urge. That is why, like in the case above, a parent will allow two teenagers of the opposite sex to share the same bed in the same room all alone. Imagine the teen boy waking up early in the morning with full erection, which is not out of place at that age and the first sight that greets him is the nude, succulent body of his sister sleeping carelessly with her silky night gown raised up to her chest. And he sees this almost every day. If anything goes wrong, I must tell you that IT IS NOT HIS FAULT. We allow our children to be too close with each other without caution. There are cases where parents allow siblings to dress or undress before each other all in the name that they are brother and sister. What an error!

• Some parents unconsciously promote sex abuse by their own actions. For instance, daddy sits wearing a very short boxers or walks bare-chested in the house with his young daughters around him. Mummy on the other hand ties wrapper above her chest and sits carelessly, sometimes letting the wrapper fall off without showing any sign of concern. As if that is not enough, she puts on her clothes half way and asks her son to help her hook her bra or zip up her blouse. While nothing may go wrong between you and the child, you arouse the child’s emotions and leave him or her burning with passion and erotic imaginations. That is abuse of the mind and emotion of the child. And when such feelings build up to an uncontrollable level it finds expression through any available channel.

• In the name of modern lifestyle we use indecent dressing to destroy our children. Predators are not only outside, many of them are inside the house with us. We don’t care what our children, especially our daughters wear at home. Some of them move around the house half naked in the presence of their “hot-blooded” brothers and probably other extended family members. Remember I said that emotions and arousals are controlled by hormones and often do not know who is a brother or sister.

• How about mouth kissing? I don’t know what to say to parents who kiss their children on the lips. You are destroying that child. You are teaching that child that whoever says he loves you can kiss you to express his love. And of course they have come to believe that nothing can go wrong just by kissing, after all nothing went wrong when you kissed them.

• We encourage sex abuse through the type of films we watch in our homes. We are meant to be good examples. Therefore we cannot say that the kids should not watch those X-rated films when we ourselves watch them. If they don’t watch it when we are there they will try to see what is in it when we are away.

• We give children unlimited and uncontrolled access to the internet. And after watching only God-knows-what into the middle of the night after you have gone to bed they retire into the privacy of their room to sleep alone with their siblings.

• We are careless with the kind of friends our children keep. Do you know that some of the boys who come “to look for your son” are actually there because of your daughter? The same thing applies to your daughter’s visitors. Some of them use your daughter as an excuse to have access to your son. Your children know this and plan out their way very well to protect each other’s interest – right under your nose.

• Time and space shall fail me to talk about the numerous ills we bring upon ourselves when we abdicate our duties as women to house helps and other domestic servants. I have seen cases where mothers allow house boys to bath their baby girls or nannies to bath their sons without supervision. Do you know how many children have been abused through that means? And once they start they may never stop. Dear mum, even your husband who is the father of your daughter should not bath your four year old daughter for you. You may say I am an extremist but I know what I am talking about. Some time ago a friend told me that a mother came to her crying because her four year old daughter told her that the “father” molested her while bathing her the other day the mum went to the market.

• We allow careless, stupid and erotic playing among our children. Some parents don’t see the need to rebuke their children if they catch them touching each other in unseemly ways. They assume that they are just kids and will stop it as they grow older.

• There is also the case of parents who do not know the difference between bedroom talks, deeds or actions and talks that are meant for the public. They engage in romantic displays at the full glare of their children. Some of them will tell you that they want the children to know that they love each other or that they are teaching their children how to love their spouse when they grow up and get married. Please spare your children, especially the teenagers the embarrassment caused by your open romantic episodes.

I still have a lot to say about this issue but I am compelled by consideration for the time of my readers to stop here. The message I want to pass across is that we need to open our eyes because there are terrible cases of sex abuse in the family these days. It is happening between parents and their children, among siblings, domestic servants are equally not left out. Just this evening I read the story of a mother who said that she was proud to tell the whole world that she was a lesbian and her 18 year old daughter was her lover. According to her they were just happy to have each other! That is the world we are in today.

Please try to find out what happens in the bathroom when your two daughters or sons enter the bathroom and spend more time than necessary there. Be more concerned when you have extended relatives or holiday makers in your home. If possible, please do not allow your sons and daughters to sleep alone in the same bedroom; separate them. But where that is not possible due to economic reasons or any other factor be extra vigilant and don’t stop talking to them about the dangers of unholy union.
#familymattersng.com

Shalom!

Ijeoma I. Igwesi

16 nurses in same hospital pregnant at the same time

Sixteen nurses working in the intensive care unit of Banner Desert Medical Centre in Mesa, Arizona have astounded co-workers by all becoming pregnant at the same time.

LET ME SHAKE PDP’s TABLE SMALL😂...

In 2008, the former PDP chairman Ahmodu Ali suggested a new Headquarters should be constructed for their party, PDP. The idea was welcomed by all party members.

A 12 story building was agreed upon. The former Vice President who at the time  was the Governor of Kaduna State, Architect Namadi Sambo, designed the structure of the proposed new secretariat.

The contract was awarded to BNL construction firm for N10billion with a delivery date of two and half years. First quarter of that year, Ahmodu Ali was kicked out of office.

Then came a new PDP Nat. Chairman, Vincent Ogbulafor, who keyed into the idea of the new Secretariat by his predecessor. He quickly rallied round party members on how to raise funds.

By November 14, 2008, Ogbulafor organized a fundraising dinner for the N10billion needed to execute the project. On that night, N6billion was generated cash down. 🕺👋

Femi Otedola was the baba olowo in attendance. He was the highest donor. You know Femi Otedola na. Don't you? Ok! You remembered Farouk Lawal & subsidy money kwo? Ehen, na that Femi wey been dey swallow subsidy money that Farouk wanted to rope him before Femi come use akpako pass akpako on him. Femi single handedly donated N1billion to PDP on the night. No shaking! PDP! POWER!!!

This one no be dem say dem say, I watched that fund raising dinner live on AIT on that day. I saw the massive explosion of cheers when Femi announced his N1billion donation. 🌌🌌

Back to my story jare.
So, five years later after the fundraising dinner, the secretariat was nowhere near 20% completion even though N6billion was raised for the project that was initially meant to be completed in 2 & a half years.

However, in October 2013, another former National Chairman of PDP, this time, it was Bamanga Tukur, he initiated fresh moves to re-mobilise the contractors back to site. How? Through fundraising of course. Are you a learner? 😐

In December 2014 a combined fundraising dinner was organized to raise funds for Mr. Jonathan's 2015 presidential election and for the building project. A mouth watering & mind boggling sum of N21 billion was realized at the event. Yes! You heard me right: N21billion. Is it ur N21billion? 😡😡👎🏼

I know a lot of us are not very good at mathematics, but let's do this quick maths.

N6billion + N21billion = N27billion. Blood of Moses! Meanwhile, the secretariat originally was meant to cost "only" N10billion.

Lest I forget to tell you, only N2billion was given to BNL construction company as mobilisation from the N6billion that was raised from the initial fundraising. Balance from there was N4billion. Therefore; N4billion + N21billion?

The remaining N25billion was converted to yams & eaten up by goats of many breeds. Lol 😅😂😂

At the time I typed this post at 02:37am this morning, the new PDP headquarters in Abuja is still not 50% completed.

This brings me to a saying by a character in the gods are not to blame; Odewole said;" If the crocodiles can eat up their own eggs, what can they not do to the body of the frog"?

I'm begging all my PDP friends to take this message to Secondus, Fayose & Wike, PDP should finish building their secretariat in Abuja first before they come to build the entire country. Tankiu

DEADLY TRIVIALITIES

(If you eat food, then you need to read this)

Sunkanmi watched and listened to Baba Otunba as he spoke in his shrine…His son’s healing was dependent on that.

‘That bottle contains a combination of goat’s blood, the eye of a black and white bird and the tongue of an agama lizard. The other one with a red cover has the grinded liquid from the body of a decayed vulture and the blood you got from that dead girl... While the calabash in between them is where you mix both contents when you want to use them. It is a sacred calabash’ Baba said coldly.

‘Yes sir’ Sunkanmi nodded.

‘Make sure you rub these contents in your hands before you buy any food or fruit sold in an open place… which is uncovered. That means your hand MUST touch the food or fruit directly without any hindrance. Things like roasted corn, pea, roasted yam, roasted plantain, agege bread, I am sure you know what I mean’ He probed.

‘Beeni (yes) sir, I understand perfectly’ Sunkanmi replied

‘The target is to touch up to 11 of such items and go your way’ Baba added.

Standing up and facing his gods, Baba Otunba made some more incantations and turned sharply to face Sunkanmi and said ‘If they eat whatever you touch, they get afflicted with a part of your son’s sickness, it will be a gradual affliction but will be so subtle and untraceable that it will be hard to grasp until death comes….. hahahahahaha. Trust me, his healing is so SURE!’ He concluded.

Sunkanmi could not contain his joy, ‘Amin! Baba’

Suddenly remembering something, Baba Otunba spoke out ‘There is a BUT in all that I have said, if anyone buys, then prays to ‘The Holy One’ before eating anything your hands have touched after rubbing the mixtures I gave you… There will be a negative bounce back. So go to the places where the type of edibles I said are sold during rush hour, when people are too tired to think of praying. The rest is a settled case’ He smiled with a wicked glee.

Two days later, Sunkanmi waited until 4pm before rubbing some mixtures in his hands as he set out on the busy Oshodi road in Lagos, today his son’s healing would begin. He looked at the environment carefully and walked to a place where a woman was selling roasted corns.

Seeing him, the corn seller said ‘ Na fresh corn oga, N100 only’

‘Ah, ah these small corns?’ Sunkanmi asked as he would pick up one corn rub it well and take up another. He did this to 4 corns there, afterwards he pointed at one and gave the woman N1000 hoping she would not have change.

Seeing the amount involved the woman protested ‘Oga abeg change no dey!’ hissing she turned to another customer
.
Sunkanmi left her stand gladly and walked to another area where roasted plantain was sold. He touched 4 pieces of plantain there as well. The seller did not even notice him because she was haggling prices with two other customers. So he left without even pricing.

He kept walking for a while before stopping at another place where a woman sold boiled corns and wanted to start his ‘ministrations’ on the corns there, but the woman noticed after he touched the first corn and scolded him.

‘Oga abeg I no dey allow people to dey touch market wey others go still put for mouth.. If you wan buy, buy. If you no want, abeg dey go’ She said angrily.

‘See me see trouble o, I even wan manage buy this your hard corn, abeg I no dey buy again jare! He hissed and walked away. In his heart he was relieved the woman did not notice anything unusual about him.

‘This annoying woman did not even allow me to touch up to 2 corns in her stand…’ He thought to himself as he crossed the road to a woman selling Agege bread.

‘Bread elo ni (how much?)’ Sunkanmi asked as he picked up the first and second bread loaves frowning.

‘N150 sir’ the young girl answered enthusiastically.
‘This your bread is too hard o. And they are white, I prefer brown bread’ Saying this, he walked away from the bread seller.

He went home that day content and happy, hoping against hope and begging the gods of his forefathers that none would take time to pray before eating any of the things he touched.
----------------------------------------------------
Interestingly enough, no one bothered to pray.

Uju bought two roasted corns as she was going to get a bus home, in her hunger she ate both in the bus hurriedly without praying.

Bidemi had eaten one roasted plantain and was about to begin with the second when his brother Akande came in and dragged the plantain from him… both ate without praying.

Mama Sola bought Agege bread for her neighbor’s children; Mummy Bayo.
Mummy Bayo thanked her for it and after she got into the house, hastily gave her children to share because she didn't want to miss any part of the movie series showing on the screen. Her 3 children ate without praying…

Like play like play, everyone who bought those items Sunkanmi touched ‘forgot’ to pray.

And like water put in a pot to boil, their ailments came little by little, in such a subtle way as Baba Otunba had said. All because they took the foods they ate for granted.
**************
Some things we call trivial are Deadly Trivialities… As Christians, let’s stop taking what we put into our mouth for granted!

Stop to pray before eating and teach your children to do the same.

Remember, the fastest way to poison a man is through what he puts in his mouth.
******************
Inspired by the Holy Spirit.
Written By Chinazo Ike.

(Feel free to share)

My husband introduced his live-in concubine to me as his aunt – Wife

An Oke-Ogbere Customary Court in Ibadan on Thursday dissolved a three- year marriage between one Temilade Oyeyemi and her husband, Ayo Oyeyemi, over deception and adultery.

Court president, Mr. Sulaiman Olaniyi, said,

Breaking News: Aretha Franklin passes on

American soul singer, Aretha Franklin has died.

Franklin, who is 76, has battled

Libya Returnees shock FG: Some returnees have gone back to Libya

In what appears an indictment of the federal government, a cross section of Libyan returnees from Edo state has said more Nigerians would continue to flee to Libya in spite of the sufferings  and torture associated with such trips except governments at all levels become more responsive to the yearnings of the youth. 
Accusing the government of being the major stimulator of  such dangerous journeys, the returnees said if elected

Edo welcome 3,883 Libyan returnees in 10 months –Official

The Edo Government says it received 3,883 Libyan returnees between November 2017 and August 2018.

The statistics were given in the one year report on activities of the State Taskforce Against Human trafficking made available to the News Agency of Nigeria in Benin on Thursday.

The document indicated that the

What Good Sex Does To Women - Lady Reveals On Twitter. See Reactions

Twitter user, Melanin Monroe @darkskinedgal has this to say about women and good sex. I don't know how true her assertion is. 

See tweet after the cut:

I once prostrated to my wife’s concubine to save my life, man tells court

Chief Ademola Odunade, the President of a Mapo Customary Court in Ibadan, on Tuesday dissolved a 14-year-old marriage between one Folashade Idowu and her husband, Abimbola,  over infidelity and threat to life.

Odunade said  Folashade had caused an irreparable damage to her union with Abimbola on the ground of infidelity and

Alhaji Tony of London

When I first met Alhaji in Brixton in 1989, awon boys used to hail him as "Alhaji Tony!"

I noticed that he will always squirm in embarrassment.

I knew something ain't right, but he was older than me, so I noh dey hail am like so; I jus call him Alhaji.

Then one day, I asked my friend, Power, why dem dey hail am "Alhaji Tony!" and he gave me the whole gist.

...... In

Aworawo, Yorubas Greatest Loss!

The disappearance of Aworawos in Yorubaland has resulted in loss of its traditional ability to articulate its chronological history and ability to project the future based on past trends, like modern Economists. For the lack of knowledge, my people might perish.

The Bible said ‘number your days right so that you can gain wisdom of the heart’, so the argument that Aworawo was a sin is a cultural misunderstanding.

It is through timing that we know when to plant, when we menstruate and the occurrences of all other natural phenomenons.

Time keeping in every civilization was based on astrologers since the calendar is based on

Marriage

Million Dollar Truth: 

If Saturday and Sunday doesn't excite you, then change your Friends.
If Monday doesn't motivate you, then change your profession.
If Monday is too exciting, and you are dying to get to work, then you should change

Man Abandons Home Ater Wife Discovers Nude Photos of Lover on His Phone

A Zimbabwean man, Philip Pasurai, has abandoned his home after his wife, Marcia Mutodzaniso, discovered nude photos of a neighbour on his phone.

According to 

HOW LOLA BROUGHT CHARM FROM IJEBU TO NNEWI.

When Emeka broke the news to his parents that he planned to marry a Yoruba lady, they told him that he was a joker. That would never happen, they said flatly. Was there a scarcity of nubile damsels in Nnewi and its environs or in Anambra State and the entire Igboland that their son would travel across many rivers and many states to marry a Yoruba girl from Ijebu-Ode? Or, had the girl bewitched Emeka with “otumokpo” from Ijebu-Ode? She would not succeed, they concluded. Never!

Weeks after that, nothing was heard about the issue again. They assumed that the case had been closed. Emeka had come to his senses, they concluded. But had he?

Two months later, like a bad dream, Emeka brought up the issue of this Ijebu girl again! This time, his tone was firm. Despite the threats of the parents, he was not cowed. He was resolute to the point of obstinacy. Even the tears of his mother did not move him. His parents concluded their son was indeed under a spell.

When it became obvious, after many months of dialogue, pressure, threats, pleas, tears and quarrels that Emeka was hell-bent on marrying Lola, his parents grudgingly gave their consent, but the father warned that nobody should run to him if the marriage went awry. The father also refused to accompany him to Ijebu-Ode for the marriage rites, saying that as an elder, it was a taboo for him to travel far away from home. It did not matter that a few months before the marriage rites, he had travelled through Ijebu-Ode on his way to Lagos.

Not only his parents were against the marriage: Out of Emeka’s three brothers and two sisters, only his younger sister was on his side. But Emeka overlooked all that and went ahead with the marriage.

When Lola came into the family, it was obvious that she was not welcomed. She was just being tolerated. Matters were not helped by the fact that Emeka had recently relocated his architecture business from Lagos to Nnewi, to take advantage of the burgeoning building industry in the town. And even though he had built his own house, it was within the same compound where his parents lived. It was a large compound: All the four sons had their portions of land within the compound, even though two of them were not based at home.

Another handicap Lola had was language: Igbo was the language of the family, but Lola spoke only English and Yoruba. So, Lola began forcing herself to speak Igbo. Any time she uttered an Igbo word or sentence, people would laugh. But her determination and sense of humour impressed everyone. She also did something that nobody around her did: she curtsied or knelt down when greeting elders, especially her husband’s parents, no matter how hard they protested against such acts. That act and her accent marked her out as a Yoruba, which made people treat her like an egg and call her “Iyawo.”

Most mornings, Lola would go early to the quarters of her husband’s parents, greet them, tidy up their rooms and collect their clothes for washing. She would ensure that Papa and Mama had their meals. She asked her mother in-law to teach her how to cook all local meals. Mama was eager to teach her, and she learnt fast. Any time Papa or Mama complained of backache, rheumatism or fever, Lola ensured that they got medical treatment. Most evenings, she would spend some time with them, either alone or in the company of her husband, before retiring to bed. Her brother in-law’s wife sneered that she was shamelessly trying to buy love with her boot-licking tactics. But Lola was not bothered about that.

Less than a year after Lola came into the family, the music changed. Emeka’s parents, especially the father, never completed a sentence without mentioning “Iyawo.” He would tell anyone who cared to listen, including the wives of his other three sons, that if it was not for Iyawo, he would have long died.

Today, Lola speaks Igbo, or rather Nnewi, like a daughter of the soil. As far as Emeka’s parents are concerned, “Iyawo” can do no wrong. Even when Emeka complains about her before his parents, they will not let him finish before warning him never to do anything that will hurt that “peace-loving girl.”

Unknown to everyone, before Lola left her parents’ home, she fortified herself for any eventuality, having known that her husband’s family were not happy about the marriage. Her parents had also done all they could to dissuade her from marrying an Igbo man, but their words fell on her like water on the back of a duck. So she knew she had a major battle to face in her new home. Failure was not an option, for if the marriage failed or proved unhappy, her parents would give her the I-told-you treatment. Consequently, before leaving for Nnewi, she boiled herself in a pot of charm. Then, she etched the charm on her face, tongue and heart. The power in the charm was meant to automatically make anyone around her to like her. Anyone she smiled at or talked to was meant to be charmed by her.

What is the name of that charm and how much does it cost? The name of the charm is simple: Genuine love for others. It costs nothing to buy. No medicine-man is needed to prepare or administer it. It has no overdose. Everyone can prepare it. Everyone can administer it: At home, in the office, on the street, in the market. Its result on people is magical. Nobody can resist its effect, including “wicked mothers in-law” and “impossible bosses.” Fortunately, it is available in all parts of the world: In Ijebu-Ode or Nnewi, Zaria or Ikot-Ekpene, New York or Kabul.

Everybody wants to be loved, appreciated and respected. When love is shown (over a period of time) to even untamed animals like the bear, leopard, chimpanzee, hyena, etc, they respond with friendliness. Human beings have the capacity to even respond better than animals when shown love.

The rule in all human relations is that you get what you give. If you smile a lot at people, you receive smiles. If you are cold to people, you receive coldness and more. If you love to help others, you receive help and love. Therefore, those who go about demanding and expecting love, care, and respect from others may get disappointed, but those who first give love, care, and respect to others usually receive them manyfold. Showing genuine love to others is a potent charm that works like magic.