For Married Women Only: Have Better Sex Tonight. 12 Ways to Kick It Up a Notch

For men, after marriage, sex becomes work, sometimes likened to hard labour. It doesn't mean he loves you less or cheating on you. 

You women need to try spicing things up every now and again. However, better sex doesn't take a closet full of toys or studying the Kama Sutra as if you were preparing for the bar exam—it takes a little extra effort and a willingness to try new things with a partner you trust. In fact, there are super-easy things you can do to spice up your sex life tonight. Try out one or more of these 11 ideas for an extra-sexy evening.

1. Engage another sense. Turns out, your nose can help turn you as much as your hands or eyes. Research by the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation found that cucumber, licorice, and baby powder—yes, you read that right—increase vaginal blood flow by up to 13 percent. Pumpkin pie and lavender scents have also been shown to turn women on. So before you get busy tonight, light a candle and get one of these aromas flowing—among other things!

2. Add lubricant. Sex can be super hot, but if it's also not, um, wet, it won't be nearly as good as it can be. If you've taken the time you need to get aroused but still feel too dry to fully enjoy sex, don't be afraid or embarrassed to reach for a lubricant. When your guy sees how good he's making you feel, he'll forget you wanted it at all.

3. Start with a massage. Ask your guy to gently rub your neck, then let him massage his way down your shoulders and back, eventually turning his hands toward your front side. By the time he reaches your more obvious erogenous zones, you'll be relaxed and ready to go.

4. Get started without him. Get in the mood—and prepare a great surprise for your guy—by touching yourself before he gets into the room. You'll be primed for primal action, and he'll get a great visual that will rev his engine right away.

5. Change the scenery. Don't let your guy whisk you off to the bedroom when things get hot and heavy on the couch. Instead, use cushions, a kitchen table, or your hallway's wall for support. There's something sexy about not making it to the bed because you needed each other right there, right now.

6. Speak up. When your guy does something you really love, tell him—and tell him why . It's an easy way to tip-toe into dirty talk that helps you focus even more on the good things that are going on. You can also strip and say, "Tell me where you want to touch me," to get things started in a sexy, vocal way.

7. Take it slow. It's easy to fall into a routine of rushing toward a grand finale. But slowing things down—to the point that it's almost torture—is a sure way to heat things back up. So take in the view while you undress each other. Stop at the erogenous zones you normally skip on the way downtown. Kiss, a lot. And sex will be so much better for it.

8. Add a pillow. Placed beneath your lower back or butt, a pillow changes the angle in an ever-so-slight way that has a big pay off when it comes to penetration.

9. Send him a sext—like, now. If you want to have sex tonight, tell your guy via text before he gets home. It can be something simple, such as, "I can't wait to rip your clothes off," or a more vivid description of just what you want to do to him as soon as he walks in the door. The anticipation of what's to come will make the actual act so much hotter for you both.

10. Kiss during an orgasm. Sex already releases all kinds of hormones that bond you two together, but kissing during that most-intense time ups the emotional high of the moment. (A friend says it's almost like sharing an orgasm—though I still say, you should have your own too!)

11. Be each other's first at something.

 

Perhaps there's a sex position you've been dying to try but never been comfortable attempting that acrobatic feat. Maybe he's hinted at wanting anal sex, and you've decided you want to give it a go. Whatever it might be, experiencing a "first" with someone you trust is sexy and thrilling—not to mention, you might find a new go-to move!

12. Nag less. Complain Less. 

This is perhaps the most important of all. The more women nag/complain in a relationship, the more they drive the men into being less interested in having sex with you at that point. Maybe later.

What are some other easy ways we can make sex better, tonight? What do you do to kick things up a notch in the bedroom—or out?