MARRIAGE DILEMMA

This young lady grew up in a big house on a large piece of land in Ikoyi, while her father worked with the government. After retirement, the family moved into a smaller apartment in Surulere which she never really enjoyed. Currently, she is in a dilemma as 2 guys have asked for her hands in marriage. One is a struggling man, her true love, and the other; a well-to-do young man who may give her the life she yearns for.

“Will you marry me?” he asked. I was lost for words. This is the moment I have dreamed of all my life, yet, here I am, unable to give a reply. Not that I don’t love Bode, in fact, he is the only one my heart belongs to. After 3 years of a very romantic relationship with lots of enjoyable memories, this should be the crowning moment, but there’s just one problem.

I could see the anguish on his face when I said, “Baby, please let’s wait a while. You know I love you, but this is all too sudden.”

“What else are we waiting for?” He asked gently, still looking pained while holding the ring in his fingers.

“I just ….” I trailed off. “Please just give me some time.”

We left the fast food joint together and took a bus home with so many things going through my mind. How do I handle this? What is the best option for me right now? I’m just confused.

I grew up with my parents and 2 brothers in a 5 bedroom duplex on a large piece of land in Ikoyi. Daddy used to work in one of the federal ministries and was given the accommodation. We had 2 sitting rooms, 1 upstairs and 1 downstairs, a dining area and a guest room downstairs, all bedrooms ensuite. We had enough space outside the house to play around. We moved houses just as I completed my secondary education.

 Daddy worked meritoriously and with integrity. Bottom line is I still wonder why he didn’t do like his mates so we could live a better life. This was obvious when he retired and we moved into a cramped 3 bedroom flat in Surulere. Drastic downgrade and I hated the area immediately we moved in.

In my year 3 in the university, I met Bode. He provided the only bright spark since we moved to Surulere. He was from a modest family and had lived all his life in that part of town. He showed me around and made me look forward to going home every day. He was always there when I needed him, so I generally felt he was the one I would spend the rest of my life with.

That, was until I met Uche, a gentle, easy going young man. Uche works with one of the big 4 telecom companies and lives in Oniru estate. I met him when I went for a job interview a year ago and we have been friends since then, but, over time, we got closer. I went to his place once and it reminded me of how much I have missed our former place in Ikoyi and that sort of environment. I really want that lifestyle back and therein lay the dilemma. On one hand I have Bode, a struggling young man whom I love so much and really wish to marry, while on the other hand, there is Uche, already made and waiting to provide me with the sort of life I’ve long for.

Now, I don’t know what to do as Uche proposed to me just 2 nights before. I also kept him on hold but I know I have to make this crucial decision soon. Should I go with my heart and accept Bode who presently lives in a miniflat in Surulere, or embrace the more comfortable life that lay ahead with Uche?

Kindly leave your advice or comment for this worried spinster.

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